So a few weeks ago, I decided to try a fast/detox that my coworker was doing, the Master Cleanse, made popular by hippies and Beyonce. I can't remember exactly why I wanted to do it; mostly because after my birthday, Thanksgiving, and various debauched and deboozed nights...I was feeling a little ookie on the inside. Detoxing sounded right up my alley.
Basically the cleanse involved 10 days of this lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper stuff, all the peppermint tea you could drink, water, laxative tea, and/or a saline flush. I started on Monday...and FINISHED by Tuesday night. It was a horrible two days. I was dizzy, unfocused, had no mental clarity, spent two solid days on the toilet as if I had just gotten back from Mexico and had spent the entire time drinking the water, and dammit I was HUNGRY the entire time. I knew it wasn't working out when I started making mistakes at work. That wouldn't be so bad if I worked somewhere where making a mistake meant forgetting to take pickles off of a sandwich, but patients and doctors are not too stoked on having their labwork get screwed up. And then there's the whole rational thinker in me who kept wondering why I would want to be shitting mucous, why I would want to screw up my electrolytes by starving myself, and why I would want to make my body feel like I just caught malaria.
Oh well, apparently I didn't hold out long enough. After day three it's supposed to be a breeze. And apparently my reaction was worse than my co-worker's because I am WAY more toxic than she is. Which is all probably true. I think I might actually try this again at some point though. However, next time I won't do it when I'm working, I'll wait until I have some time off. And I won't do the whole laxative portion, that was just gross.
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