eye of the tiger

My dog/child has congenital eye problems. He can't make tears. Because of this I have to give him multiple daily doses of a ton of really expensive medication and I have to take him to the vet a lot. You would think, considering the fact that my dog is like 1/10th the size of a person, that the bills would therefore be 1/10th of a doctor's bill. But no, it is outrageously expensive. I regularly spend upwards of $150.00 every time I see the vet and that doesn't include the special medicine I have to have shipped from New Mexico of all places. So now because the eye has gotten worse lately I have to go back to see a veterinarian opthamologist...and yes there is such an animal (excuse the pun). What this doctor should really be called is dog-lover's proctologist because I really end up taking it up the ass everytime I see this guy. Overlooking the fact that I have to drive to Nashville for the visit, which is the entire state of Kentucky away, this guy charges me a bundle for five minutes of "Oh he's doing fine, just keep doing what you've been doing." Yeah thanks, do I bend over now or would you rather I did it up by the credit card machine? So considering the amount of cash I have to drop to see this guy, you might assume that customer service would be included. OH BUT NO NO NO that is definitely not the case. Those office people can eat my ass. They were positively dramatic about making my appointment, all but blaming me for being too poor to see the doctor for the last two years. Oh I'm sorry mizzz nasally-borderline-hysterical receptionist, I forgot that you were doing a vital organ--doctor's visit exchange program. Didn't I leave my liver with you last time? Oh that only covered the visit, not the medication? Sorry, I guess this time you can have my bladder, I'll just have to start pissing out of my navel.