downward spiral

So, the official part of the split has begun. Who knew how labor intensive it would be? Certainly not me. So much paperwork, stacks upon stacks of things I have to do within the next seven business days...much of it to be completed by next Tuesday. My checklist is long and ardous and every check makes part of me die just a little bit. Still haven't really officially told anybody other than my parents and a very limited number of people at school. What surprises me is that people are surprised...but then again I was a little surprised myself so I can't hold it against anybody. My mother is going to tell my brother and sister, I guess that makes me a coward for not facing my own firing squad. I still haven't written the email and I don't know when I'll get around to it, I probably should do it because it must be weird for people to read it here. The thing that amazes me about this whole thing is how fast it all is, when there is no property or children involved you can be dissoluted within a month...imagine that, one little month, thirty short days can legally wipe out six years and turn it into some dream I have just awoken from. I believe that I am in a denial stage and I know it, I want to stay here as long as possible because I dread moving into a stage of reality and acceptance and the emotional rape that I will inevitably suffer. I feel like I may be the saddest little girl on the planet.