deceptacon

Okay, massive rant coming on...just warning you.
Why are deception and lying such easy things for people to do? How is it possible that a person can actually convince themselves that deceiving somebody is the correct fucking course of action? Do people really think that somehow the withholding of important information is somehow any different than an outright bold-faced lie? SERIOUSLY!!! Is it any different? When somebody purposely withholds an important piece of information, a little tidbit that could change the course of somebody's actions, do they REALLY REALLY think that it's any different than out-and-out lying to that person? I have to believe that people must really believe that, because it happens with an amazing consistency. If a person has the chance to tell the entire story, has several opportunities to do so, and then doesn't...it makes them a LIAR, that's all there is to it, no negotiating levels of truth here!!! And that makes that person incapable of any true connection with a person on any level, despite all of their pretenses. ARGH, I try so hard not to lie or deceive, I've spent years trying to escape the pathological lying that came so easy to me before. But what's the point, the reciprocation of honesty is so pathetic that it makes it hardly worth the effort. I just want to fucking scream, rip my hair out and leave shiny bald patches on my scalp. I'm ready to GIVE UP on my journey to try and better connect with people because I keep getting sucked into other people's deceptions. I should be smarter than this, I should have enough experience to realize this, I should have kept my fortress solid to protect against these things because so far it hasn't been worth it to try and tear them down. Poor me, my control drama rearing its monstrous head. My choices are my follies, and I don't even have my youthful naivete to blame it on any more.