who do i have to kill for an ambien?

My sleep schedule is totally screwed up. I can't sleep when I need to sleep, when I know that in less than four hours my alarm clock will be screeching at me like some high-pitched harpy on meth. I don't know why its so hard for me to fall asleep because I truly love sleep. I love sleep like rock stars love heroine, like chickified porn-stars love saline, like Mormons love the short-sleeved dress-shirt sale at Sears. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that my mom would force us to stay in bed when we were little. Most parents let their kids get up to watch cartoons in the morning, not my mom, she made me and Sofie stay in bed until the Today show was over. I'm feeling pretty desperate right now, where can I get some sheep (to count man, to count)?