gag me with a spoon

Bulimics are very specific about the foods they consume when they binge and purge. Definite no on the tortilla chips, too many sharp edges that could reak havoc on the throat. They pass on the spicy food because spicy plus stomach acid does not a happy esophogus make. They don't indulge in bread either because it clumps too much, and vomiting up big wads of bread is probably similar to pushing a baby out of a vag. But bulimics love stuff like cake, soft cake and smooth icing...mmm mmm good both down and up the hatch. They love cereal (but not Corn Pops or Raisin Bran) because the milk is so much the better for upchucking. But the all-time fave of most bulimics is ice cream...it's just as good coming up as going down, soft and cool...a real pleasure for the regular purger. But bulimia just doesn't really work for everybody. Take vegans for instance, they can't have the milk or the cake or the ice cream, and lactose intolerants, well I'm sure you can just imagine. Plus, the foods for bulimics are just so darn unhealthy. So I think we should institute a healthier more organic bulimia. Judging by today's unfortunate turn of events, I've found that tofu is ideal for puking, whether self-induced or not. The consistency makes it easy to hurl, it doesn't leave too bad an aftertaste, and you don't get as much stomach acid as you would trying to break down a big hamburger or something. So now everybody can be on the bulimia bandwagon and not just celebrities and sorority girls.