Tuesday, August 23, 2005

keep hope alive

Generally, I consider myself a person who stays on top of things...but lately, I've regressed into somebody else entirely. What kind of complete lack of any discernible intelligence or rationale allows a person to want something that they will NEVER have? And it's not as if I don't know that I won't and can't have this thing, because I do know that. I know it more than I know how I take my coffee or which way I like to part my hair. Yet, I cling desperately and stubbornly to the hope that if I want this bad enough, I might actually get it. Who made that bullshit up anyway, if you want something bad enough, you'll get it? Did they mean that specifically or in a more general sense? Because if they meant it specifically, well I've got news for them...it doesn't work...so frankly, whoever that person is can shove their sage advice up their ass. And in a general sense, it's still crap advice because then you're not really wanting anything really, you're just hoping for positive results in any aspect of your life. I wish my hope would die, because if you ask me, hope is just some bullshit optimistic way of avoiding reality. I wish somebody would beat my hope with a sledgehammer until it shatters into tiny shards of defeat. Then they can pour gasoline on all that wasted hope and light it on fire until it is consumed in a pale blue flame and the ashes blow away, never to be seen again. I've taken a few steps in this direction, but to no avail. But then again, I kinda hope that it doesn't happen.Edit: Hopefully this will be the last of the woe is me crap. We should be back to the regularly scheduled program of sarcasm, vitriol, and general crankiness soon. Thanks for all of the comments.

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