the great divide

TuI've been feeling very disconnected from people lately. It's almost like there's a short in my system that prevents any real connections from occurring with other people. Certainly there have been a lot of temporary connections, enough to gleen some momentary satisfaction. But it just doesn't feel like enough anymore. The more I experience these shallow connections, the lonelier I start to feel. It's like being incredibly hungry and then eating a handful of something and then just feeling that much hungrier after getting that small taste. And then of course, there's the rejection that goes hand in hand with shorted out connections. It's just all very strange and painful, I'm baffled. I finally stuck a pin through the bubble of self-preservation I made for myself for so many years and watched it explode, but now I almost want it back.