dropping the kids off

Every day there is some family here to look at the house. And within ten minutes of them showing up for their appointment I feel the urge to...well you know. But I don't want to drop the kids off and then have somebody coming through the house. I can just picture it, a nice young couple holding hands and giggling at the prospect of having their first real home. They look at the fireplace and think of all the romantic evenings they can have, lying in front of the roaring fire naked, sipping only the finest wine that Fetzer offers. They're touring the basement and small bedroom thinking "Golly Susan, wouldn't a family room be nice? We could make this bedroom the guest room and then maybe it can become a nursery later?" Then they open the bathroom door and whammo, eau de fully digested processed cafeteria food. I wouldn't want to associate this money-trap with the number two, I hope my landlady appreciates the sacrifices I'm making for her.