birds and the bees

Ahhhh, spring. When the hazy blue skies and warm weather are mere indicators of the balmy sweaty summer months ahead, when hair like mine goes from just slightly frizzy to just slightly less attractive than Roseanne Roseanna Danna When the suburban automatons go out to their lush velvet yards and plant their hopeful spring gardens, hoping that by Memorial Day they'll have the best rhododendrons and roses on the block. When people start walking their dogs again and the amount of poo you have to dodge in the park increases trifold. When condom sales become inversely proportional to the amount of clothes people are wearing. I wish it were autumn.