potato head

I am, yet again, heading to Idaho this week. This will be the third time in a year that I have travelled to the land o' potatoes and skinheads. Let me tell you, that's three more times than I would have expected to have gone.
This time around though there will be more family introductions. I've already met the boy's mother and step-father, separately and during short meals at restaraunts. But this time it'll be the whole family and it'll be on their turf. Meeting the family includes the sister who I am most nervous about meeting and her husband who apparently likes to push people's buttons, of which I have many and they are incredibly molestable.
It's funny how, though I am now a woman in her thirties and have done this whole family dance...it still makes me feel like an awkward teenager. I've even thought that maybe I should go buy some new clothes so I don't look slobby. If there was overnight lipo, I might consider that as well. And I need my hair dyed. And I should get a manicure. And I have NO SHOES!!! It's all very silly.

family ties

I have just spent a long weekend doing a bunch of family stuff. My sister finished her undergrad degree, she got it just in the nick of time before hitting thirty. My brother got promoted to a higher rank in the military, he's so gung-ho that it really wouldn't surprise me at all if he ended up like Colin Powell one day. My dad came into town for my sister's graduation and he finally decided that it was time to acknowledge the elephant in the room, his girlfriend of five years. Now, that isn't to say that none of us knew about her. We all knew about her, even my mom, mostly because I decided to tell her about my dad's lady when I moved back here. I thought, "We're all adults, my parents have been divorced for years...it's not like my dad left my mom for this woman. It'll be fine." And so for a while it seemed like it was fine. Even when my dad first mentioned bringing Robin, it seemed like it would be okay.
But alas...it was NOT okay. It was very much not okay. My mom ended up being a slice of the bitterest fruit imaginable. She refused to sit with us at the graduation. Then later when she finally could not avoid a tete-a-tete with the new ladyfriend, she refused to look her in the eye, had the face of somebody getting a colonoscopy the whole time, and then proceeded to say some incredibly rude things.
It probably could have been a lot worse. My mom isn't always the most emotionally balanced person in the world. What kills me is the perception of it all. My mom thinks that what she did proved some kind of point, she probably feels some kind of internal validation. The rest of us are a little horrified that she could be so rude. And part of me really hoped that she would suck it up and act like the adult she is but then she didn't and I had to admit that in this instance, I gave her too much credit.
Ah well. That was the only "down" side of the weekend and it only took up about fifteen total minutes of real time. Everything else was great. My dad's new lady seems like a wonderful woman (I had not met her in person before this). We're all proud of my brother and sister. The boy met my dad and that seemed to go well. Next time maybe we'll get my mom on board with the whole happy family thing.

backwards

It is one of life's interesting conundrums:

When you find that you need love, comfort and reassurance, you find it easier to push away the very people who can give you what you need.

quizlet

1. Do you know anyone in Prison?
Indeed.
2. Have you ever logged onto a bf/gf/crush's myspace page?
Yes, but only while typing in his password with him sitting next to me. Then I block the information from my memory so it can never be used illicitly.
3. When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
Last night for dinner. I really need to go grocery shopping.
5. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?
I'm pleading the fifth on that one...and pleading it at least four or five times.
6. Name someone you miss.
My Kentrucky friends!
7. Are you named after a grandparent?
No, but I have an aunt's middle name.
8. Who loves you?
Telly Savalas
9. Have you ever broken a rib?
Just at Tony Roma's
10. Would you rather be a girl or a guy?
I'd rather be a asexual amoeba. But then I'd need birth control for masturbation.
11. Who is the most spoiled person you know?
I dunno...I'm pretty sure my sister's expiration date is way far gone.
12. Would you rather have a million dollars or true love?
I'm gonna have to know what the compound interest rates are for both before I make that decision. Cause love ain't buying me a condo and a million bucks ain't gonna tell me I look beautiful when I wake up in the morning.
13. Have you ever had sex in church?
No way. That's just weird.
14. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend a Marine?
Oh no.
15. What would you describe your last relationship as:
A good life experience.
16. Would you rather date someone 2 years younger or older?
Two years is pretty irrelevant in either direction.
17. What's your favorite junk food?
French fries.
18. Do you have a porn collection?
I have a few things left over from a previous collection now apparently owned by the ex of my friend who has a midget fetish.
19. Is your birthday on a holiday?
No but it often falls on Veteran's Day weekend....which only gets you a day off if you work for the gubbment.
20. Are you old enough to vote?
I'll be old enough to run for president soon.
21. Do you have any friends or family in the war right now?
Yes, we are all affected by the war whether or not we are deployed there.
22. Are you a vegetarian?
Mwahhhh Hahahahahhaa...
23. Do you worry about global warming?
I worry about worrying...
24. Do you like polar bears?
Oh yes...medium well with a side of hollondaise.
25. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Fat Bottomed Girls
26. Did you lose your virginity to your neighbor?
No...
27. Did or do you think your childhood dreams will come true?
I had crazy dreams about flying and fairies and men without faces who would chase me through Paris. So...ummm....yeah.
28. Do you wear your boyfriend/girlfriends clothes?
He has some bikini briefs that I like to wear sometimes. They're leopard printed.
29. Are you a country or city girl/boy?
City slicker.
30.Are you taller than 5'6"?
Yes, considering my gene pool...I ended up on the winning end of the height lottery.
31. Do you consider yourself spoiled?
No, last time I smelled myself, it seemed like I was still drinkable.

harry and the hendersons

Went to Sasquatch for the first time this past weekend. Rather than a long drawn out post detailing the minutia of the weekend, like overflowing port-o-potties and gross ass "chicken" gyros, I'll just speed things up a bit with a five most memorable things list:

5. Watching seriously drunk people stumble over to our camp and make complete and total asses of themselves. Including a girl who tried to steal our chairs, then when told they weren't hers...tried to smash them. And the guy who was being hazed and apparently pulled down his pants to pee while splayed out on the ground and then started to hump the grass.

4. The GORGE! Now I see why it is considering the most beautiful venue in the U.S. It was gorgeous, even on Sunday when the cold and strong wind caused the people in charge to close down a couple of stages.

3. Ghostland Observatory. In my next life, I want to come back as a beautiful and androgynous Native American dude who may be the only person ever to get away with wearing the tightest pants I have ever seen.


Seriously, the look of confusion on some of the men's faces as they wondered where the tingly feelings in their tummies were coming from because of the guy on stage was priceless.

2. Hanging out with awesome friends. In a crowd of tens of thousands, it's always a great feeling when you run across your friends/family and get to hang out.

1. The most magical, gorgeous, pixie goddess of light and magic with the best act I have ever seen in my entire life...BJORK!


My god...it was quite possibly the most amazing experience I have had... EVER! I thought I was going to give birth to a big ball of joy during her set. I was enraptured and enthralled. She seriously could have gotten me to commit ritual suicide I was so wrapped up in her. I get shivers just thinking about it. That one set made the entire weekend worth it!!!

sasquatch

We went to Sasquatch Festival this weekend at the Gorge Ampitheater in eastern Washington. It was a good time. My coworker, with the same moniker incidentally, saw a lot of the same bands at Coachella that were playing at Sasquatch. She came back not very impressed. With that in mind I kept my expectations fairly minimal. But I thought there were a lot of really good bands. My personal favorites included Ghostland Observatory, who had the most amazingly beautiful lead singer in quite possibly the tightest pants I have ever seen. Electrolene was a really cool band made up of all women. Arcade Fire was really cool. And then there was Bjork. Oh Bjork, fairy goddess of light and magic. I think I had a religious experience during Bjork. She had me completely and utterly enraptured. Her show was AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL and EXHILERATING!!! That show alone made the time, money, and effort worth it. Then there was Sunday. It ended up a mellow day with high winds that shut down a few stages. The only band that really caught my attention was The Dandy Warhols. The Beastie Boys just didn't do it for me, I fell asleep. Camping and port-o-potties turned out to be not so bad. My camp and fellow campers were fun. I didn't spend too much money. All in all, a very good weekend.

electrocution

I need a jolt, a shock, a sudden burst of...(long drawn out dramatic pause)... something. I need a little excitement in my life, preferably veering in the more positive direction. The hum-drumminess is starting to get to me. I'm bored. And when I'm bored I get cranky. I'm like a toddler that way. I need to refocus my energy into something. Exercise got boring and I've got the fifteen recently gained pounds to prove it. People got boring and I've got the marginally rewarding relationships to prove that as well. What to do, what to do?

new news

Gosh, having been gone since January you would think I would have a veritable buffet of stuff to talk about. But ehhhhh...not really.
I guess the only big change for me has been that I moved out of my old crack-alley apartment and moved into the "hood" of Seattle. And by "hood" I really mean super-gentrified neighborhood where housing prices have rocketed through the roof and into the upper stratosphere and the original habitants are being swiftly kicked out and replaced by super bourgeois latte-swilling yuppsters who would never do the suburbs. I moved in with a friend and it's been a re-learning experience of why I'm just really not a very easy person to live with.
Other than that, things are pretty much the same. Still with the same boy, that's going well. Still at the same job, that's still tolerable though maybe less so now that I suspect they will be telling us we have to start working every other weekend again. Still have the best dog ever, a fact now confirmed by my roommate's dog who I believe has the puppy equivalent of both ADHD and autism. Still trucking along...

gone, not forgotten

After a many-monthed unexplained disappearance, I am really and truley back. My computer went into a long and unexpected hibernation due to an evil takeover bid by spyware. Luckily, in the end, they lost. But they did manage to accrue massive casualties, like all of the photographs I had on my harddrive, six years of memories lost. Ah well...what can you do? Other than learn how to properly use your backup harddrive...

champagne wishes and playa dreams

I had trouble sleeping last night, too much diet dr. pepper at work I guess. But when I did happen to cross paths with the Sandman, he led me down portals into playa dreamland. I had the most amazing Burningman dreams last night, not surprising since the season is starting to pick up. In part of it, I got hooked up with a person who I thought was Elvis Costello but turned out to be a powerful shaman who let us share campspace with them right off of the Esplanade. Sigh.

soulwax...the best show in seattle yet

How you know a show rules:

A. You sweat way more during the headlining set then you ever do spending several hours at the gym.
B. Some random guy tells you that you're the only girl in the joint who knows how to dance and you rocked out so hard that you actually believe him.
C. You jump up and down so much that you reminisce about your heydays of mosh-pit glory.
D. You forget you have a raging knee injury until after you leave and the throbbing throbbing pain returns on the walk home.
And most importantly...E. You have to pee really really badly the entire set (and after four beers) but the music is so good and you so very much don't want to leave that you spend an entire hour peeing in your pants a little bit and don't even fucking care.

contemplation

It's Friday night and I'm doing this, trying to resurrect some feeling of release. I could be out doing something right now, hanging out with friends or other people I hardly know, somehow convincing myself that becase I am outside of the four walls I call home, I have stumbled upon the magical "something" I'm supposed to be doing. But here in my living room, I have done something important. I've realized that I've let myself make split second decisions about the quality of a person based on a few couple-o-second interactions...probably less time than I would spend drunkenly ordering something at the Jack in the Box drive thru. In this particular case, I totally misjudged somebody, I'd given them no credit when they deserve mounds of it. And had I not found the thing that showed me that I was so wrong, I would have continued with my assumptions and never known that I had been around an amazing person several times. I'm a little sad about that.

mono

One Word Survey
You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.
Not as easy as you might think.

1. Where is your cell phone? table
2. Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend? lost
3. Your hair? graying
4. Work? tedium
5. Your father? trying
6. Your favorite thing? naughty
7. Your dream last night? ambieny
8. Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Your dream car? pre-paid
10. The room you're in? living
11. Your pet? iniki
12. Your fears? disempowerent
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? living
14. Where did you hang out last night? home
15. What you're not good at? coping
16. Eyebrow rings on the opposite sex? juvenile
17. One of your wish list items? travel
18. Where you grew up? everywhere
19. The last thing you did? pooped
20. What are you wearing? jammies
21. what aren't you wearing? bra
22. The website you're on? duh
23. Your computer? broken
24. Your life? calm
25. Your mood? calm
26. Missing? devo
27. What are you thinking about right now? exercise
28. Your car? hooptie
29. Song? presets
30. Your summer? debaucherous
31. Your relationship status? deep
32. Your favorite color? blue
33. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
34. Last time you cried? yesterday
35. School? lew-ah-vaul

guilty pleasure

Everybody has a guilty pleasure. For some people it's a food item that they rarely allow themselves, usually some kind of dairy product like cheese or ice cream. For some it's shopping, buying something a little more expensive than you really should. Others prefer guilty pleasure television watching, Dancing with the Stars or America's Next Top Model. Not me though. For me...it's wearing maternity clothes. I love buying and wearing maternity clothes...I hang out in the mommy-to-be section at Target a lot. And I don't have some weird pregnancy obsession, as far as I'm concerned my uterus has been marked condemned for quite some time. Maternity clothes are just so darn comfy...

relationships

The roomie and I each have a dog and each of them are used to being top dog in the house. So now that we've brought the two together into one household, it has been incredibly interesting watching the plays for dominance and power work themselves out. Iniki is the older, seasoned dog with the skills to pay the bills and Atticus is the newbie, full of inexperienced and boundless energy. One minute the young grasshopper is the humper and the next thing you know the wise one is pumping some serious ass. The coolest part about it is how fucking honest and out in the open it is. No underhanded, passive-aggressive, scheming manipulations. It's not Survivor up in the this joint. It's just straight up, ultimate fighting style, victor takes the spoils. And not that I'm playing favorites or anything...but I think Iniki might have won the last few rounds.

conversation stopper

I walked past a pair of people having this conversation yesterday:

Her: He comes to your office sometimes...
Him: (Shrugs like he doesn't know what she's talking about)
Her: You know, the really dark one. The one that looks like he's really from Africa.
Him: Yeah, the real deal.

Seriously, I laughed out loud at them when they said that. I couldn't help myself. Are there real deal "dark" people? As if the ones we have here are fake? Effin-Aye, people are dumb.

dying for health

I've been having these weird allergic reactions since moving back to Seattle. Basically the reactions are caused by eating, then going outside to do some kind of physical activity like walking my puppy. Then for some inexplicable reason I start getting really itchy and break out in HUGE hives all over my body. There is no rhyme or reason as to why this keeps happening.
At first I thought I was allergic to hummus but it didn't happen every time I ate hummus, in fact it often DIDN'T happen when I ate hummus. Then it happened when I had a PB&J. Then it happened again when I had a chicken sandwich. The only commanality was the eating then doing something "active."
But yesterday I had the WORST episode I have ever had. I went to breakfast with the boy, we ate at Glo's, I had a ton of food and then to repent for my gluttonous behavior, I went to the gym. An hour later I started to feel a little itchy so I took a benadryl. Then on my walk from the car to the gym, about five blocks, my ENTIRE body breaks out in the biggest hives I've ever seen. MY!ENTIRE!BODY! My mouth and face started swelling for the first time and my tongue started swelling too.
That's when I got worried. If I collapsed on Capital Hill would all the hipster kids just walk by and take pictures of me on their cell phones to post on their myspace blog? Would the homeless guy on the corner of Summit and Olive be the one to give me mouth to mouth?
I drove home and stripped down only to find that all of the individual hives had merged into one giant hive colony that covered my body, I looked like I had elephantitis or something. It was GROSS! But after some more benadryl and an allergy pill, I got better, though my skin felt like it was crawling all night at work. Not fun.
So I did a little research. It seems that I have exercise induced anaphylaxia. Basically EIA is an allergic reaction with a triggering factor, often food or anti-inflammatory drugs. People eat or take ibuprofen or something, then they go exercise and their bodies have an allergic response.
It's totally random, you can do the same thing forty times and then the forty-first you'll have the reaction, then you can do it another forty times and nothing. The foods commonly associated with EIA are some fruits, wheat, cheese, chick peas...healthy shit.
So to wrap all this up...I mean seriously...how can I be allergic to something that's good for me like exercise? Can't I be allergic to chocolate and sitting on my ass all day? I swear, my body is like a fucking bear getting ready for hiberation. All it wants is to hoard and store fat and then be lazy.

oh my god!!!

The 7th and final Harry Potter book is coming out in July!!! That's the best news I've had all week.

interesting reading

I was messing around on the internet while I was waiting for my ebay auction to win and I found this article:

I was speaking with a patient in one of our outpatient programs last week. He excitedly told me that he was on his way to a psychiatric hospital right after our meeting.
I was puzzled until he added that he was going there for a job interview. He's about to complete a mental health counseling degree at a community college. Immediately, I was struck by the extraordinary progress he has made — from being virtually overwhelmed by his schizophrenia to living very effectively with this disease.
I first met this man over 10 years ago during a series of psychiatric hospitalizations for severe psychotic symptoms associated with his schizophrenia. He was tortured by what seemed to be the voice of God saying terrible things to him.
His auditory hallucinations drowned out the daily life around him and he was overwhelmed with bizarre and frightening delusional thoughts. At times, he wanted to end his life to escape the pain of these incessant unreal experiences.
His psychotic experiences seemed so real that he could not accept the fact that he had a psychiatric disorder — and thus he saw no reason to take any medications. Usually, once in the hospital he would take medications, hoping to be discharged sooner; it often worked because his symptoms did improve. Once back home, however, he would discard his prescriptions and stop taking his medications. Before long, he'd be back in the hospital as the psychotic symptoms became more pronounced.
I'm not sure what helped him turn the corner to taking his medications regularly and staying out of the hospital for longer periods of time. It has been many years now since his last psychiatric admission. Perhaps it was a combination of maturity, faith, support from his wife, education, intensive involvement with the outpatient mental health program, and the right combination of medicines. I suspect all were important to him.
In fact, he was functioning so well that I assumed his symptoms were gone. When I asked him about auditory hallucinations, I was surprised when he responded that he continued to experience the demonic voices.
What was different now was that he had learned to differentiate what was real from what was a symptom of his illness. His schizophrenia wasn't cured, but it was under control. That's like having diabetes — the disease is never cured, but it can be managed with education, support from family and friends, effective outpatient treatment, lifestyle changes, and adherence to medications.

But the most interesting part was the comment following the article:

I came across this and thought I would post a comment. Demonic oppression is real, although in our culture it isn't fashionable to believe that God/demons/the devil are real. I suggest your friend read the gospels:Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Jesus dealt with many who were harrassed by demons. Often, someone, whether the individual or their parents, grandparents, or great grandparents, have opened themselves up for demonic attack through occult practices, ouji board games, astral projection, etc. The good news is, there is hope. Jesus came to destroy the work of the devil. The key is repentence, turning away from our own ways, and turning to Jesus. I have personally seen many people set free of demonic oppression. Any born-again, Spirit-filled church should be able to help your friend. Jesus came to give believers back the authority that Adam and Eve lost in the garden. That authority was surrendered to the devil, and only those that understand their authority in Jesus, and truly know Him, can effectively deal with demonic activity. Often, unforgiveness and bitterness are the open doors for this kind of oppression. Jesus taught that unless we forgive others, we will not receive God's forgiveness. In the same way we forgive, we will be forgiven. Often the problem comes through dishonoring one's parents and rebelling. I am not saying that every demonic oppression is the result of sin in one's own life, or one's direct lineage; sometimes it is just the effect of our fallen world. Music is also important. When Saul [in the Bible] found himself tormented by demons (because of his disobedience) a young [soon to be king] David played worship music to God, and the demons ceased to bother Saul when the music played. Although drugs may seem to help, they really only mask the problem--the root is still undealt with. The Greek word for drugs is the word we get pharmeceuticals from. It is also the Greek word for "sorcery" (ie. witchcraft). The literal meaning is "mind-benders". Drugs do not stop pain, they merely mask its effect. Anyway, hoping that you will forward this to your freind, and that he finds it helpful. Have a good day.
WOW!

it's the end of the world as we know it...

I've decided to start taking the stairs more often. Mostly because my body has gotten all paranoid and survivalist and decided to turn itself into a self-contained flotation device, complete with inflatable wings and big old inflatable swimming ring. In other words, I am losing the battle of the bulge and that has nothing to do with WWII. But to get back on track...
So I started taking the stairs and yesterday I took the stairs at work. Just to give a little backstory, I work in a hospital in the basement. And not just your standard basement...I work in the third basement, there are two levels of basement above me. I LITERALLY work in the bowels of hell. Anyway, I take the stairs down to the third level of beezlebub's lair and I noticed something I'd never noticed before. There were a bunch of signs pointing out that my little slice of pergatory is also the nuclear fallout shelter.
YEAH! What that means is that when the end comes, the good news is that I have a pretty good chance of surviving. The bad news is, it'll be up to me and my coworkers to repopulate the planet. And all things considered, this means the make-up of the next generation of mankind will be composed of the following: A. short, B. pudgy, C. balding, D. neurotic, E. anal retentive, F. snarky, and G. REALLY into bad reality television. (Of the above, I consider myself b,d,e, & f).

soul-sucking tv land

I don't know how it happened. No wait, scratch that...I actually know EXACTLY how it happened. It was on the way back from Hawaii, I was not in the most positive of spaces and ended up watching the in-flight entertainment and one of the shows they played was Heroes. I had heard a lot about the show, anybody with even the slightest trace of fan-boy geekiness in them has heard of this show. For god's sake...it's a show about genetic mutations that lead to superpowers. I know, I know...some people hate it because it's a rip-off of X-men...I've rationalized that whole thing by deciding that it's more of an homage (which is way more forgivable). All it took was one show and the next thing I knew I was sitting in front of the computer watching episode after episode on youtube and wherever else I could find the other thirteen episodes I hadn't seen yet. My personal record for marathon viewing clocked in at five episodes in one night. Now I rush home Monday nights to watch the show on the DVR that came with the satellite tv service. It's hard to not be a television zombie when you have a ridiculous amount of stations at your disposal...but I've tried to be diligent about not watching the boob tube. Except for Heroes...I'm hooked.

icky sicky

I started getting a little sick on Wednesday. I used to have a great immune system but no matter how great, it's practically impossible to stand constant vigil against sickness when you are dating somebody who can catch a cold from a fire. I initially thought it was a cold and that it would pass fairly quickly, I joked about the severity of my sickness with others...maybe that was my ultimate karmic downfall. Because come Friday, as I lay on Devin's couch watching season 3 of The L Word, I started to feel much worse. Then I fell asleep and into one of the most hallucinatory fevers I've ever had. I woke up at the peak of my fever and was fully convinced that I had somehow been transplanted into a jungle. I don't even quite recall how I ended up in the bathroom but I remember trying to find my machete. Eventually I went to the ER, not because I thought I needed to be hospitalized...mostly because I needed to get a doctor's note for missing so much work and them's the breaks when you get sick on a Friday night. As it turned out I had a trifecta of disease: A.a viral upper respiratory infection with bronchitis, B. a sinus infection, and C. the flu. YEAH! If you're going to do it, do it all the way. They gave me some intravenous fluids for dehydration, with a pinch of a steroid, an anti-inflammatory, and an antibiotic. Then they gave me oral antibiotics, motrin, and vicodin. I'm not really sure what they are treating since viral infections can actually worsen with antibiotic use, but at least I got the vicodin so that I don't have to think about it very much.

settling down and disappearing

I'm almost done moving. I turned in my keys to my old place yesterday. I'm almost completely set up here with the exception of needing to get a small desk for my room. The dogs are getting to know one another. And during this time period I feel like I've managed to fall off of the face of the earth. And I don't know whether or not that is a bad or good thing yet. On the one hand I'm glad to be getting a "break," but from who or what I don't really know, I can't explain the strong desire for hermitage I've had lately. On the other hand I worry that people will forget about little-old-me and I don't know if I would have the energy to spark their memories if that were the case. But if you are reading this, then know that I think of all of you often even if I am a craptastic friend who apparently doesn't believe in email or phone conversations.

honesty and rewards

Sometimes I think that honesty and integrity are worthless endeavors. I decided to do the "right" thing regarding some money and my job. I called about some money I will be getting after I noticed that I would be getting paid more than I should. After making the phone calls there is now going to be an inquiry which will probably end up with money being taken out of my paycheck. I guess I should feel good that I am the kind of person who wants fairness and has the integrity to not take advantage...being a "good" person who does the "right" thing SHOULD make me feel some sense of pride of self-respect. But mostly I'm sitting here wishing I hadn't mentioned anything. Particularly considering the fact that my job SCREWED me and is paying me far far far less than I am worth. And consistently messes us my and everybody else's paychecks, rarely if ever in our favor. So the money I would have gotten from them, barely a drop in the bucket compared to the money they have not given me.

So where are the rewards of this thing called honesty?

UPDATE: I get a phone call this morning...apparently, every once in a while David REALLY does beat Goliath. NICE!

movin' on up

I hate moving! I'm at that beginning stage where no matter how much of my seemingly endless piles of shit I put into boxes, I don't seem to be getting anywhere.

aloha

Tomorrow, I am heading to Kauai. It should be fun. I hope it's fun. There will be a lot of people and I imagine a little bit of drama that goes along with a lot of people. But, it'll be okay. I figured out that I need to have one hundred and seventy dollars worth of fun every day that I'm there to break even.

dog day afternoon

Never one to listen to the advice of a doctor, I opted to not listen to the advice of my vet either. "Don't feed your dog table scraps." These are fine words to live by, particularly considering the horror of the last few days. The pooch ate a bunch of people food on Christmas Eve. And then Christmas day I made him a steak...he deserved something special, particularly since I had to work and left him home all alone. But the present he gave me in return for all of the people food, dear lord... He spent the entire morning vomitting and then just for a little extra sumptin' sumptin', he got a bad case of the runs all over the carpet. And when that happened, I was pulling on my shirt to take him out. So I had to leave him in the bathroom while I was at work and when I came back, it was like Fratboy Fest 2006 had convened. How does a dog puke up his body weight? Luckily today he seems to be doing a lot better so I don't think I'll take him to the vet. But live and learn, no two days binges of table scraps anymore.

for the love of gee-ohh-dee

Current mood:FAT!
Somebody please keep me away from the fucking Christmas cookies! I thought I couldn't possibly shove any more pumpkin pie down my gullet after Thanksgiving, but alas...I have managed to prove myself oh so wrong. Thank god I heard that cellulite was the new black.

girls gone wild

This past weekend, a bunch of friends of the boy came out for a party. It ended up getting quite debaucherous. I did a few things that would shock some of my older friends. I did exceed some of my own limits. As did the boy. I kissed another boy and the boy kissed and groped another girl...all in good fun. But it's more than I would have thought I would do while in a relationship. Sure, during pillow talk, the boy and I might talk about what it would be like to "spice things up a bit." But that's just sexy talk, neither of us would really do that...at least I believe that to be the case. Or I believed that to be the case. I think I've started the sexual equivalent of the slippery slope argument with myself. Because I let myself kiss another male and my boy was okay with that...does that mean next time I'll let myself do a little more. And because I let him kiss another girl without complaint...does that mean I'll be okay with whatever happens next time. I don't want to end up a creepy predatory polyamourous couple. But, to be perfectly frank, I kind of like the idea that exploration isn't just for astronauts.

carion

I feel like I'm being consumed by frustration and tension lately. Maybe it's something as mundane as some seasonal disorder, feeling blue because the skies never seem to be. But that would seem trite, and I refuse to believe that I've allowed my emotional state to become that.
It's been a frustrating week. I tried fasting and only made it 48 of the recommended 240 hours, not that I'm all that upset about my lack of commitment to something that goes against most of what I know. But the effects the fast had on my body were unexpected, I had a week long headache and a almost total lack of clarity. I vow to NEVER give up coffee again.
So, while already feeling like shit I ended up getting incredibly angry with the boy about his decision making. My emotional volatity created a chasm between him and I, one of my own design and therefore only felt by me. The chasm of course beget a lashing out which beget his own anger which beget the ability he has of saying incredibly pointed and hurtful things.
And then there's the work/money situation. I guess I should have known better than to expect a corporate soulless shark to do the right thing, the fair thing. I guess I shouldn't have had any expectations. Then I wouldn't be so fucking upset that my doing the right thing would turn out to not bring the good tidings I had hoped for.
All these things, on an individual level, aren't anything too grand, certainly nothing that a person can't handle. But together, all at once, it feels like too much. It feels like the black nothingness that usually swirls in the periphery of my life is slithering forward and tapping me on the shoulder.

rebirth

I couldn't stay away. I've been doing this blogging thing for a while and thought I was through with it, but alas it seems that I was wrong. Less than one week after watching The Temple collapse in ruins, I'm back to gather and sort through the piles of rubble and ash in the hopes of recreating something resembling the Temple of Divine Disenchantment.

the fast and the furious

So a few weeks ago, I decided to try a fast/detox that my coworker was doing, the Master Cleanse, made popular by hippies and Beyonce. I can't remember exactly why I wanted to do it; mostly because after my birthday, Thanksgiving, and various debauched and deboozed nights...I was feeling a little ookie on the inside. Detoxing sounded right up my alley.

Basically the cleanse involved 10 days of this lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper stuff, all the peppermint tea you could drink, water, laxative tea, and/or a saline flush. I started on Monday...and FINISHED by Tuesday night. It was a horrible two days. I was dizzy, unfocused, had no mental clarity, spent two solid days on the toilet as if I had just gotten back from Mexico and had spent the entire time drinking the water, and dammit I was HUNGRY the entire time. I knew it wasn't working out when I started making mistakes at work. That wouldn't be so bad if I worked somewhere where making a mistake meant forgetting to take pickles off of a sandwich, but patients and doctors are not too stoked on having their labwork get screwed up. And then there's the whole rational thinker in me who kept wondering why I would want to be shitting mucous, why I would want to screw up my electrolytes by starving myself, and why I would want to make my body feel like I just caught malaria.

Oh well, apparently I didn't hold out long enough. After day three it's supposed to be a breeze. And apparently my reaction was worse than my co-worker's because I am WAY more toxic than she is. Which is all probably true. I think I might actually try this again at some point though. However, next time I won't do it when I'm working, I'll wait until I have some time off. And I won't do the whole laxative portion, that was just gross.

wash, rinse, repeat

If I had a dollar for each time I have had this conversation (I had it twice on Thursday, almost verbatim):

Me: (blah blah blah), Korean (blah blah blah).
Them: Why would you being doing (blah blah blah ) Korean?
Me: Oh, I'm Korean.
Them: YOU ARE!!! But you don't LOOK Korean!
Me: Yeah, I know.
Them: I thought you were _________ (Mexican, Hispanic, Portugese, Italian, Mediterranean, etc. etc. etc).
Me: I hear that a lot.
Them: Who's Korean? Your mom, your dad? Are they full Korean? Do you eat kimchee? Say something to me in Korean.
Me: My mom and she's straight one-hundred percent Korean. Of course I eat kimchee, I just told you that I'm Korean. And if I say something to you in Korean, will that all of the sudden transcend your disbelief and make me look more Korean to you than I did a minute ago?
Them: So do you eat dog?
And when I was ruder and slightly less mature, this would be the point that I would insert some incredibly rude and inappropriate question about their cultural habits. But now I'm an adult and just end up saying, "That's kind of a stupid question."

for whom the bell tolls

My computer being down made me finally recognize that this blog is in its final death throes and like many a pet owner, I decided that it was for the best to put it down rather that prolonging its misery. There are a lot of reasons for my deciding to do this... Maybe I've lost interest in maintaining this particular site. There aren't as many changes in my life as there were when I started this thing. The routine of my current life is reflected in my lack of desire to update my page. And I don't have a schtick or a gimmick to keep me going. No weekly radio address or recipe I've tried or movies I've seen. It was just me running off at the mouth/fingertips and I realize I've gotten pretty one-dimensional lately. Maybe I've lost interest in blogging. I still visit all my friends' blogs, but not with the fervor of days yore. I don't participate in any of the blogshare stuff anymore. I don't check my blogrings or hit the next blog button anymore. Maybe I've lost interest when a lot of people lost interest in me. I know everybody says that blogging is about writing for yourself...blah blah blah. But let's face it, if that were true then we would be writing in journals or saving word documents, not posting online. Ahhh well, for whatever reason, I am saying goodbye. I am going to take this page down on December 1st. First, because I think that pages left online that aren't being updated are kind of annoying. Secondly, I'm going to take some time and save the posts to a word processing document. I'm no Sylvia Plath, maybe not even a Danielle Steele, but I'd kinda like to save my stuff. Third, and most importantly, I want to say goodbye to my regular readers, aka friends. Thanks for sticking around, whether regularly or every once in a blue moon to catch up. Thanks for taking the time to comment, everybody loves comments. Just thanks! I'm keeping my account open so I can still comment on your blogs and such. Happy Trails!

plumping dangers

Apparently the plump is not meant for everybody. I field tested the fatty lip plumper with a girl at work yesterday. Today she came into work with blisters on her lips. OUCHIE! Lesson learned, no trying out the fish-lip juice when your lips are cracked.

return of the swamp thing

My computer is back in action. My brother fixed it. Apparently I had downloaded a virus that was continually running an application and using 99% of my processor. I wish I were half as motivated as that virus.

my special day

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

airborne porcine

As a contingency to my getting my job last year, I was supposed to get certified by a national credentialing agency. I had a year to do it. That year ended in July and guess what...I never did it. I applied for it, I paid for it, I scheduled it, I rescheduled it, I just never took it. I just thought I was never going to pass it. It's been twelve years since I did my army training, which is not too different from being shoved down a pseudo-educational assembly line...not the best learning environment for long term memory storage. I hadn't needed a certification up until this point as I had been "grandfathered" in to the field. There were areas in the lab that I hadn't and still have NEVER worked. Basically, all signs pointed to my failing that test. And when you're the kind of person who derives a lot of self-worth from stupid stuff like passing tests, well I wasn't looking forward to taking it. But I finally bit the bullet and took the test yesterday, mostly because I wanted to get the test fee back from my GI Bill monies. And during the taking of it, there was a lot of stuff I just didn't know. Some of the questions were incredibly obscure. They asked things that nobody needs to know to do their job and do it well. I knew I failed that test. I clicked that end test button and waited for a big red screen to pop up, probably with a loud alarm and computer generated voice that would announce that I failed. But another screen came up, one that said I had FUCKING PASSED! With an 82%! Holy Christ! I was so astonished that my eyes welled up and I started crying on the spot. I almost didn't believe what I had seen. I thought I might have misread it. Then they gave me the print-out that said that I had indeed passed. I'm still a little shocked. All my loved ones kept telling me I would pass, they had the faith in me that I didn't have for myself. We went out to a really lovely dinner to celebrate. We even bought dessert and more wine than was probably necessary. And this morning I woke up feeling pretty good nonetheless. It's nice waking up to a surprising accomplishment.

tricked and treated

My computer is still possessed but I thought I would give a peep at our Halloween costume. I'm almost hoping for a feathered hair resurgence because it was crinkly, global warming inducing fun. All in all, other than some unexpected and unnecessary drama, it was a super fun weekend.

coinkydinky

I found this in The Stranger's Last Days section:

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 22 The week ends with another Hot Tip involving questionable sexuality on Seattle streets. The setting: A Dumpster near the intersection of Summit Avenue and Olive Way on Seattle's Capitol Hill, where Hot Tipper Mike noticed a cardboard box filled to the brim with home-recorded VHS videotapes. "They were all hand labeled," writes Mikes, who soon discovered the truth of the tapes content. "It was all fat-girl porn. A sample of titles: Delilah (350 lbs) Gets Sexy, Kathy's World (amateur), Strip Poker (starring the Powerbosom Girls). I wish I could've left it at that," says Mike. "But no. I brought Strip Poker home and I'll live forever with the consequences. Imagine three 400-pound ladies sitting around a card table with an ice-cream sundae in the middle. They are all eating hoagies. Then the 'photographer' shows up, the clothes come off, and the images that follow are forever etched into my eyeballs." As for the discarded box of porn: "My theory is some guy's (supersized?) girlfriend found the tapes and got super pissed. What other explanation could there be for a big box of fatty porn in the trash?" Actually, there are numerous alternate explanations, from a garden-variety guilt-ridden porn purge to someone with a fetish for size losing a battle with leukemia. But Mike's furious-girlfriend theory is a good one and only gets better as you imagine the specifics. Was the imaginary girlfriend in question huge and humiliated? Skinny and icked out? Average sized and antiporn? We'll never know. But one fact resonates forever: Confronted by a boyfriend's collection of heavy-girl porn, any woman, of any size, will harbor one question: Are you calling me fat?

What's really funny about this is that the dumpster mentioned in this article is the dumpster for my apartment building. And I walked past this box o' porn several times without ever stopping to see what those videos were. How funny! I knew I should have looked in the box!!!

From The Stranger: SUNDAY, OCTOBER 22 The week ends with another Hot Tip involving questionable sexuality on Seattle streets. The setting: A Dumpster near the intersection of Summit Avenue and Olive Way on Seattle's Capitol Hill, where Hot Tipper Mike noticed a cardboard box filled to the brim with home-recorded VHS videotapes. "They were all hand labeled," writes Mikes, who soon discovered the truth of the tapes content. "It was all fat-girl porn. A sample of titles: Delilah (350 lbs) Gets Sexy, Kathy's World (amateur), Strip Poker (starring the Powerbosom Girls). I wish I could've left it at that," says Mike. "But no. I brought Strip Poker home and I'll live forever with the consequences. Imagine three 400-pound ladies sitting around a card table with an ice-cream sundae in the middle. They are all eating hoagies. Then the 'photographer' shows up, the clothes come off, and the images that follow are forever etched into my eyeballs." As for the discarded box of porn: "My theory is some guy's (supersized?) girlfriend found the tapes and got super pissed. What other explanation could there be for a big box of fatty porn in the trash?" Actually, there are numerous alternate explanations, from a garden-variety guilt-ridden porn purge to someone with a fetish for size losing a battle with leukemia. But Mike's furious-girlfriend theory is a good one and only gets better as you imagine the specifics. Was the imaginary girlfriend in question huge and humiliated? Skinny and icked out? Average sized and antiporn? We'll never know. But one fact resonates forever: Confronted by a boyfriend's collection of heavy-girl porn, any woman, of any size, will harbor one question: Are you calling me fat? What's funny about this is that this box of porn was tossed in the dumpsters of my apartment building. In fact, I walked past this box o' goodies several times for several days. HAHAHA!

My computer is still on the blink. It makes me realize that I use the computer far too much for somebody who doesn't need one for work or school or anything that could possibly justify the amount of time I spend in front of a computer screen. A lot has happened lately. Let's see... o I just went through a weird and unexpected spell of fighting with Devo. We spent days stuck in a rut of the 3 Fs...fighting, feeding, and...other stuff. I had forgotten about that part of relationships. You know, the part when the person you care deeply for can be the person who can hurt your feelings the most. Luckily we worked through that little bump. Hopefully it'll stay a molehill that doesn't feel the need to develop short man's syndrome. o My friend Gabs was in town over the weekend. We had a ton of fun. We even went to a pumpkin patch with a corn maze in the shape of Washington state. They have school field trips through the maze so the kids can get an idea of how far apart things are and such. We opted not to learn anything important. Instead we learned how easily you can make the most innocent things seem phallic for photographs. o My ex had his first date. Everybody keeps asking me how I feel about that. I'm stoked. I think he should get out more. Hopefully he'll meet somebody nice and good for him. o I'm going out of town this weekend for a Halloween party. We got our roller derby costumes pretty much all finished. It's going to be super fun. Devo needs to get an athletic supporter though because our shorts are really short and really tight. Honestly I don't think everybody needs to know whether or not he's circumcised. Pictures of the costumes will be forthcoming. Well, I guess that's about all I can squeeze out for now. Hopefully I'll get something done with the laptop soon.

stalling

So my computer is completely and utterly fuckered. I think that my Windows might be corrupted or something because every little thing I try to do makes my computer crash. I probably downloaded a virus...a porn addiction will do that I suppose. And that sucks, because I have had several things to blog lately and just haven't been able to because my computer is messed up. This makes me sad. So until I can figure out a way to sell a kidney or not get caught using the internet at work...my posts are going to be sporadic at best.

sightings

three seconds

Hey you, yes you! Go see this movie! Why? Why not, beats sitting at home. And it's good. Real good. It's a movie with complexity. A movie where shades of gray exist. Where protagonists are not perfect. Where the hero probably won't save the day. Where the guy doesn't get the girl even after he's had the girl. But for some reason, all of that is okay.

policy maker

Me=venting. Venting=probably not fit for public consumption. Me=doing it anyway. I don't beat around the bush. I truly feel that if a person takes the time to ask me my opinion about something, then I should give them an honest, thoughtful answer. I also generally try to take into account who I am speaking with and figure out a good way to communicate my opinion so as not to look too harsh or unsupportive. I like to believe that most people who know me know this about me. I would also like to believe that knowing that, people who ask me for my opinion are ready for it. So color me surprised when somebody asks me what I think about something and then gets insulting when they don't particularly like what I have to say about it. You don't want to hear my opinion if it isn't exactly like yours, then don't take the chance and fucking ask me in the first place. Fucking ask somebody else. Or better yet, don't ask me to comment on situations that I don't know nearly enough about and expect my opinion to compare with people who have way more information. And don't throw something back in my face, comments I've made about different discussions altogether, as some kind of reactionary retributive bullshit. Because let me tell you, two can play that game and I don't like to lose.

see-saw

Insecurity seems like such a benign thing. You would think that the only thing it would affect is my self-esteem...poor me. But then I go and start projecting that insecurity all over the place, splattering my life with it like I'm involved in some overzealous game of paintball. And I have completely polarized reactions to the woe-is-me disease. Sometimes it immobilizes me and I become incapable of doing anything because I'm sure that I'm not good enough so why bother trying. And other times my hyperactive imagination gets the best of me and I start creating a lot of tension in my life because I tell myself that I know what's going to happen because I'm not nearly good enough to prevent it. Damned if you do... And somehow I manage to disassociate myself enough to be watching myself do these things, realize I'm being a little (or a lot) foolish, and still feel as if I'm on a bullet train to Fucked Up-Ville, population me.

self-imposed exile

I've been trying to get back on some kind of routine lately after having spent most of September, nay most of the summer, fiddling around and engaging in hedonistic revelry and debaucherous unruliness. And I decided that for my physical and fiscal health, and as a test of my willpower, I would abstain from drinking, smoking, and most nightlife socializing until the Halloween party season began. I thought that with summer ending and all, it would be easy. The weather would get poopie and people would begin preparing for winter hibernation. But then the weather got nice and I keep getting invitations for what sound like really fun parties. I always do this to myself, I set up goals that are probably a little bigger than they need to be and then I have to either choose to go through with it and feel unhappy or bail on the idea and feel some guilt about failing. UPDATE: So, having the most amazing rationalizing tools available to me...I convinced myself that I didn't need to give up drinking...I just needed to cut back to one or two a week. That sounds more doable.

highs and lows

It's impossible to try and fully account for all of the happenings of my Burningman experience, plus it probably wouldn't be prudent to talk about some of them at any rate. So rather than try to do a diary of my days, I decided that it was less overwhelming and probably more interesting, to just jot down some of the more memorable things (in bullet form of course). o The very first thing to happen was a small setback involving setting up our camp. We picked a location and got a lot of our camp set up AND THEN some people came out and to tell us we were camping on their reserved spot that they had very NOT clearly marked with a used up glow stick. It almost got dramatic. Even in a place like Burningman, people are assholes when it comes "protecting" what they think is theirs. But it turned out very well, we ended up in a much better location that was far downwind of the port-a-potties. o Many of our Seattle friends camp at Zu, a lovely camp full of amazing people, including one fella who flew an airplane down to Nevada. He gave away free plane rides, and Pink, Heidi and I jumped at the chance. It was AMAZING flying around the playa and getting a bird's eye view of the city and The Man. AND I got to fly the plane a little. It's a bit like playing Pole Position, you barely move the controls and the whole plane moves. My tummy jumps a little every time I think about it. o Becca and I decided one day that it was our mission to find Mister Mister, the misting tent provided by one of the camps. We rode across the playa in 90+ degree desert weather and when we got there I run into my friend Nico. What are the chances of running into one person in a crowd of 38,000 people? Actually, pretty good at Burningman. o One of our fellow campers ended up not being able to come at the last minute. The problem with that, other then her not being there, was that she was the person who was bringing two more campers. A few phone calls, and six hours...problem solved. Charlie, an unknown prior to this adventure, ended up leaving his job and coming down to the burn with our other campers (and gas for Starla). I hadn't met Charlie before but oddly enough I knew him as "Charlie the Bartender" because he knows some other people I know. It was fun making those connections during our walks around the city. o When somebody tells you they have the way to make your first burn memorable, it pays to be a little cautious. But then again, getting an electric cattle prod to your bare ass is DEFINITELY unforgettable. o Despite your best intuition telling you otherwise, it is impossible to NOT look down into the foulest depths of the Porta-potties each and every time nature calls. Though somehow my body and I developed some sort of mutual understanding that restricting bodily function was often for the best. o We camped down the block from a group from Maryland. Twice a week they gifted bloody marys to the playa citizenry. They were the BEST bloody marys I have ever had the joy of imbibing...yummy tomato juice, good vodka, fresh horseradish, beef stock...drool. I went there both times they were handing out the goods. o I saw quite possibly the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets of my life while on the playa. One morning in particular stands out. Josh and I were still going strong in the wee hours of the morning, though the rest of our crew had decided to call it quits. We hung out for a while and then decided to head over the Blunderland, a camp of the people who threw the Esthetic Evolution party I went to in Boise earlier in the summer. During our walk, the sun starting coming out. The sun came up over the mountains on the horizon and made the sky the most intense shades of pink, leaving an almost magenta hue lingering over the skyline for what seemed like forever. Josh and I walked with arms clasped around each other's waists and looked on, astounded at the sheer beauty we felt extremely privileged to be experiencing. We kept looking at one another in amazement and wonderment...it was perfect. o During one of our many nights out on the Esplanade, I wanted to find my friend Nico very badly. I walked up and down looking for him and kept running into other people who would tell me where they had last seen him. I started to become frustrated because I couldn't find him. Then I heard an art car playing a song that Devo often plays during his DJ sets, aptly nicknamed the whistle song. I decided to walk over and listen to the song and take a minute to think about my sweetie. It was then that I noticed there was a huge crowd standing around this metal serpent art installation. I waited around for a while and didn't see anything going on, so I leaned over to the guy standing next to me and asked what was happening. It was then that I noticed who I was talking to. On New Year's Eve, I went to a party with some Kentucky friends. We were heading to another party and couldn't get a cab to save our lives. These brothers were standing outside while we were trying and they offered us a ride home. We had never met these men, neither or them were permanent residents of Seattle, and once the ride was over it was likely that we would never see these good-deed-doers again. That is until I went to Burningman and randomly leaned over to ask somebody what was happening in the middle of the Playa at midnight. I asked him if he remembered me, he did and he was astounded that I remembered him. It was at that moment that I knew what that playa was trying to tell me, I couldn't control what happened out there and it was silly of me to try. What was going to happen was going to happen and I just needed to go along for the ride. It was a good lesson to learn. to be continued...

summer lovin' had me a blast

I decree that summer is officially over. Not only has the sky turned to the grayish muck that loudly proclaims "Seasonal DEFECTIVE disorder is back!" but the last outdoor party of the season was this last weekend. I busted out my white canvas espaidrilles, though banned by polite society since Labor Day, for one more event. And during said event I managed to o Develop a UTI o Develop a flat tire way out in the middle of nowhere o Discover that my donut was flat too o Get so blitzkrieged that much vomitting ensued And despite all of that I had a tremendous amount of fun glamping it up one last time (glamping=glamourous camping). Many good times were had by all. It was a beautiful campsite full of old growth trees and rolling green hills. There were loads of wonderful people. It was a good way to wrap up the summer. But at the same time, I'm glad all of this is over. No more raging two-nine day parties that involve Porta-potties and insane amounts of Turkey Jerky. No more coming back sick. No more spending ungodly sums of money to sleep in a tent. I'm ready for a break. I'm ready for some chill time, some me time, some "Hey, I haven't seen Masil around in a while" time. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now, by life and money (or lackthereof) and choices and gearing up for anniversaries I try not to deal with but inevitably end up dealing with in other ways. I need to revive and replenish myself. My soul feels tired and October seems like the perfect time for a long overdue nap.

reminiscing

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2006 REMINISCING continued from last post...a short continuation as my memory is slightly cloudy from the events of the past weekend... o One word...THUNDERDOME. Go to Flickr and do a search. It's pretty damn cool. One thing I noticed at Thunderdome, women are WAY scrappier than men. WAAYYYY scrappier. o I invented a new phrase (at least new to me) while down at Burningman...boy MOOP-a piece of boy material you pick up on the playa and drag around with you until you find an appropriate location to discard him. My boy MOOP was named Andrew. Andrew was a cutie-pie who was quite young and just naive enough that it took him several hours to figure out that we were just hanging out and that was it. o There were a lot of nekkid people at Burningman. And it is my observation that the people you would most like to see naked are often not the ones who decide to be naked. Seriously, I think I could go my entire life without seeing another pair of shaved testicles on a bike seat and be perfectly okay with that. o I rediscovered that I can sleep ANYWHERE. I would sleep in my tent during the hottest part of the day and wake up soaked in sweat. I slept through the one really big dust storm we had down there, the rest of the camp was scurrying about tying things down and making sure nothing blew away and I was passed out and didn't realize any of it was going on. o The art was incredible. I can't even begin to describe some of the amazing things out there. I will hopefully post some pictures soon but honestly, they won't do any justice to being out there. o And the best lesson for me was that I can let go and move past my own insecurities and weirdness about past interactions I've had with people and have them become something else. In some cases, new friendships were created out of interactions in which I thought nothing could develop. And in others, old obsessions were finally and completely released when I realized that I had created the object of my obsession and the reality of that person was not anywhere near the same thing. Now I've been back for two weeks, summer is over, things are pretty much back to normal. This was probably the best summer of my life. At some point I will get my crappy disposable camera pictures developed. Hopefully a few of them will turn out and I will get them posted up here.

'puting from work

1. What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with?
I can't even really remember his first name to be honest.
2. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
Neon green throwback string bikini briefs.
3. What is the song you want played at your funeral?
Strawberry Fields by The Beatles
4. Would you tell your parents if you're gay?
Most likely...of course they already think I am.
5. What would your last meal be before getting executed?
In'N'Out...at least two big piles of greasy mashed up fleshy nastiness with double processed cheese product.
6. Beatles or Stones?
The Beatles are the alpha and the omega.
7. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who?
The person stupid enough to ask such a question.
8. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
Soft liquor....Amaretto please.
9. Do you have any phobias?
Of course.
10. What are your plans for the future?
Making a future.
11. What's your dog thinking right now?
"Hey, I can lick my butt!"
12. Do you walk around the house naked?
Often...it's one of the perks of living alone.
13. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
I have no gauge for drunkeness anymore. Somewhere between one and five.
14. Where is your best friend?
In my heart.
15. Hair color you like on someone you're dating?
What can I say, I grew up on Disney. I like my Prince Charmings tall, dark, & handsome.
16. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
I would miss the beauty of the world more than I would miss the sounds of it.
17. Do you have any special talents?
Yes but I they're only for my special friends.
18. Did you brush your teeth this morning?
Sure did.
19. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
I think it might have been Sleeping Beauty.
20. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
Grab Iniki's leash so I can take him out before he pees all over.
21.Do you like horror or comedy?
I like the comedy of horror movies.
22. Do you like to watch movies by yourself?
It depends on my mood. Sometimes watching a tearjerker movie, curled up on my couch with my dog in my lap is therapeutic.
23. Guilty pleasure movie you will always watch if it's on?
Half-Baked.
24. Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
Eh, regret...what a waste of time.
25. If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do?
Who said I was straight?
26. Where do you want to live when you are old?
In a state of contentment.
27. Who is the person you can count on most?
As far as I know, everybody I know has ten fingers and ten toes...so I think I can count up to twenty on them equally.
28. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
Johnny Depp! And I'm not one of those Johnny-come-latelys. I STILL have my posters of Johnny Depp from BOP magazine!
29. Favorite drinking game?
The one that involves swallowing and not throwing up.
30. What did you dream last night?
That I couldn't fall asleep and had to take a bunch of sleeping pills and then worrying that I wouldn't be able to wake up.
31. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Competitive Eating.
32. Real or fake boobs?
That's like asking if you prefer a real or fake rolex. Not everybody can afford a real rolex.
33. What is your new obsession?
Letting go of old obsessions.

the journey begins

Our original plan had been to leave by 11am on the 25th, drive to Portland and pick up the rest of our camp, then drive to Dunsmuir (right outside of Shasta, CA). We would crash for the night and then drive out to Pyramid Lake in Nevada, about an hour and a half outside of Reno. After camping there for the night, we would drive into Black Rock City and begin our adventure. Sounds good right? Well...there's a reason why an idiom exists about best laid plans. That first day, after getting all of our gear together and packing up the vehicles, we ended up leaving Seattle at about 4pm. Our caravan consisted of 1 SUV/2 passengers, 1 mini-van pulling a trailer/2 passengers, 1 car/2 passengers, 1 RV/4 passengers. It was quite the struggle getting down to Portland. The van and trailer blew a tire before making it out of city limits, the RV kept breaking down, and we were stuck in rush-hour traffic. We didn't make it to Portland until 10 pm, where we hooked up with the rest of our caravan 1 SUV pulling a trailer/3 passengers and 1 VW/1 passenger. We took a vote and decided to stay in Portland for the night. 12 of us camped out in one of the apartments of our Portland crew. Then the next day we woke up and went to a battery shop to check out the RV. It turned out that Starla, as she was christened, needed a new alternator. So while we waited for that to get done, we all went off and ran some errands, mine involved coffee and a jaunt to the Goodwill to get more playa-worthy clothes, including the most beautifully horrendous velveteen and lace jacket. By 1pm we were ready to mount up and head to Shasta-where we had originally intended to be the night before. We drove and drove and finally got there, although my ride buddy and I decided to stop pretty early on to get lunch and then go to Old Navy. We made it to Dunsmuir and then couldn't find the house we were supposed to find because mapquest gave us the most craptastic directions with streets that didn't even exist. We FINALLY found the house and lo-n-behold, it was a teeny tiny studio apartment that thirteen of us end up sleeping in. We broke out all of the aerobeds we had among us and had an unavoidable massive pre-funk cuddle party. Sunday arrived and we headed to Reno. I ended up in a strange game of musical car chairs and got shuttled from one car to another and ended up staying in Dunsmuir while the RV got worked on again, apparently it hadn't been the alternator at all. We rode out and drove for a while, passing by many In N Out Burgers that I didn't get to stop out and lamented via text message that I was very sad to be passing them by since I was riding with a bunch of vegetarian hippies. We got to Reno at about 9pm, where the rest of our camp had been toiling away getting our supplies for the next week. We had originally decided to go to Pyramid Lake, but all of us playa-virgins were getting antsy and we wanted to head straight for Black Rock City. We decided to drive most of the way there and take a vote when we got to the split in the road between the Lake and the playa. Needless to say, when we got there, we voted for the playa. There were a few more small setbacks along the way but we made it to Black Rock City and drove onto the playa just as the sun started rising.

quotable

This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as I live it is my privilege - my *privilege* to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I love. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me; it is a sort of splendid torch which I've got a hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

embers

I've been back from Burningman since Monday. My my my, what an adventure. I don't even know how to begin to tell everybody about my trip. It would take forever to try and sum up the experience. I didn't think that I would be the kind of person to come back having had a transformative experience, but I did. There's no way to deny that some things are irreversibly altered because of the last week. I think I've finally managed to decompress and return to reality and life, though it is definitely a reality with an ever-so-slight paradigm shift...but in a good way.

pacifitrek

Mt. Rainier was amazing yesterday.Though it was a little chilly and I ended up buying an ultra-glam touristy pink sweatshirt, my hike was an adventure. No matter how much I've worked out, neither the number of minutes the machines jubilantly proclaimed I'd completed nor the large stack of weights I grunted and strained through prepared me for an actual outdoor hike on the largest mountain in Washington. From the first shaky step up what seemed like a constant fifty degree incline, I knew that I would be done before the mountain was. But I climbed anyway, even as the boulders, eroded by hundreds of tired hikers into inviting settees, beckoned with their siren's call to just stop and relax, enjoy the view...quit. The call was too strong for my partner, she was done and no amount of coaxing would get her up off of the bench. But not me. Vacilating between tenacity, stubborness, and just being obtuse I decided not to stop. I would reach THAT place before I stopped, up there where those people were. How dare they think they could get all the way up there, directly challenging my drive? So I kept going, even as the cacophony of the pulse in my ears and throat joined with my rapidly increasing heartbeat to produce a tribal drum beat. Even as my oxygen deprived body started mildly hallucinating and I became convinced that the crows were calling my name. Even as my lungs simultaneously felt like they had been doused with nitrous and shoved in a pile of burning embers. I climbed and climbed and each time I told myself I would stop right THERE, there just didn't seem like the place to end my journey. Until finally there was right. There with the clouds that wrapped themselves around my tired, sweaty body like a cool kiss on a feverish forehead. There where the ground was still covered in ice and the paths left unpaved. There is where I stopped and took my final picture and where my camera died moments after the shutter snapped. I didn't need to go any further, the volcano gods destined that I would go no higher, today was not the day I would sacrifice myself to them. So I made my slow, painful journey back down to the bottom where my dog and friend were waiting to share my victory meal...a yummy peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

feel the burn

In two hours, I will officially begin my vacation. In about twelve hours, I will officially begin my journey into the wonders of the playa, where many adventures and hardships await. These are a few of my intentions for my trip: o No expectations-though I am travelling with a wonderous ragtag assortment of wonderful ladies experienced with the ways of the man who burns, and have many friends who I will most likely encounter during my journey...I'm trying not to have a whole lot of expectations. I want to not listen to the constant buzzing of people telling me that I should see this and I definitely must do that... Other than survival advice, which I have taken to heart, I'm trying to go with a clear mind and no agenda. o Not too much complaining-Yes, the weather sucks...hot in the daytime, cold at night. Yes, porta-potties suck. Yes, living in a tent for a week is bound to suck a little. But that's all part of the deal. I'm going to try and keep whining to a minimum. o Be smart, be aware, be safe-I'm going to have awesome calves because I intend to stay on my toesies as much as possible. o Take time to reflect-On the day's activities, on the week's activities, external events, internal events, people I'll miss while I'm there... o Sunscreen is magic!-Don't walk around topless without a little SPF 30. We're going to start heading out tomorrow. I think I'll be back around the 5th or so with many stories and tales that may seem tall but are likely without embellishment. I'll miss you guys.

feel the burn

Tomorrow I start my Burningman Adventure. I'll be out of town from August 25th until about September 5th. I'll miss everybody (except for the large chunk of people I know who will be on the playa with me).

family matters

Just a little update-a-rooney. The boy met the mom. It went as I thought it would, my mom wasn't much of a conversationalist and was a fairly typical stoic Asian mother. But she wasn't entirely cold either. The boy got along well with my sister and my brother-in-law. Mom bought us dinner from her favorite little mom-and-pop Korean joint. Boy ate heartily and didn't fuss when my mom started fussing about his food and reteaching him how to eat, as if the last 26 years he had been doing it hadn't been quite right. It was good, I think he had a nice time and didn't seem too terribly offended that my mom didn't engage him in long conversations that most parents feel the need to have with their children's partners. Next it's my turn, in two weeks I get to meet his mom. But I have a feeling that she is the antithesis of my mother and will want to be super chatty and engaged. If I had the time to feel nervous about it I would...maybe when we get closer to it happening.

slow burn

I've had a lot to do lately getting ready for Burningman. Of course the reason I have so much to do is because I am a consummate procrastinator. Yesterday I decided to lump as much of my buying into one trip, after having dropped Devo off at the airport. I realized that I loathe the shopping mall. There used to be a time that I loved hanging out at the mall all day, going from store to store to store, eating at the food court, spending a bunch of money I didn't have. But no longer, the entire time I felt overwhelmed and exhausted, oversolicitous salespeople kept freaking me out, and despite there being 10,000 square feet of shit to buy, I never really found what I was looking for and the few things I did find were way overpriced. Despite all of that, I'm started to get incredibly excited. Every time I rest my head on my pillow, I dream about Burningman. All aspects of it. I dream about getting ready for it, I dream about getting down there for it, I dream about people I'll see there, things I may do there, outfits I wish I could wear there, people I wish were going to be there. The build-up is starting to get intense.

fingernail munchies

I am getting ready to take the boy to meet the mom. And it wasn't even my idea. Wish me some sort of positivity...luck, karma, good vibes, et.al.! It just goes to show, no matter how old and/or independent you get, you never stop wanting your parent's approval.

m.i.a.

Where did I disappear to? I have no idea. I feel like once again, I've reached a point in my life where I am at a crossroads. Maybe I coasted with all the goodness that the last year provided and got too content. But the last few weeks, major life-decisions have presented themselves, demanding my attention. And I've been hiding from them, and hiding in general. But they stood outside my hideout and waited, toes tapping impatiently. Now I have to deal with them, but to be perfectly honest...I'm a little scared, scared that I'll make bad decisions and end up in a familiar place where happiness is more of a ideal than a reality. But it must be done, I'm trying to think of it as more of an adventure and less like the final moments before I head off into the battlefield.

busy quizzie

1. Would you marry for money?
Marrying for money will probably give me the same success rate as marrying for love.
2. Have you had braces?
Nope, I was blessed with fairly straight teeth which is pretty lucky in my family
3. Can you live without a computer?
Sure, I actually didn't use it while on vacation at all other than to check in for my flight. But I keep in touch with a lot of really great people online and I wouldn't want to stop doing that.
4. If you could live in any past time period, where would it be?
Don't you mean when not where? But maybe like during the heydey of the Mayans.
5. Do you drink enough water?
Not as much as I should but more than a lot of people.
6. Do you wear shoes in the house or take 'em off?
I'm Korean, they take themselves off at the door.
7. What are your favorite fruits?
Nectarines and canteloupe.
8. What is your favorite place to visit?
My momma's house. She has laundry machines and FOOD! God bless her.
9. Are you photogenic?
I've been told but lately I feel less so.
10. Do you dream in color or black and white?
I dream in technicolor.
11. Why are you taking this survey?
cause i'm bored and tired and my hot date isn't for a few more hours.
12. Do you drink alcohol?
No I drink liquor.
13. What is the most beautiful language?
Mandarin is a gorgeous language.
14. Do you like being kissed when you are asleep?
Yes, I like waking up to kisses.
15. What do you like most: Sunrise or sunset?
There's nothing like a well earned sunrise.
16. Do you want to live to be 100 years old?
Not really.
17. What time did you fall asleep last night?
Probably about 1, and I feel asleep pretty quick thanks to the Tylenol PM.
18. When you watch movies at home,
do you like the lights on or off? Off.
19. Do you believe in magic? Yes.
20. Do you have a favorite radio show?
No, corporate radio is ASS.
21. Do you like sports?
I'm indifferent.
22. Do you like to watch cartoons?
I love cartoons and anime and adult swim and and and.
23. At what age did you find out Santa Claus wasn't real?
I have an older brother, he clued me in fairly young.
24. Do you write poems?
I used to write really bad poetry.
25. Do you snore?
Sometimes, not often.
26. You sleep more on your back, front, or sides?
I'm mostly a tummy sleeper.
27. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
Neither, I already have the best dog ever.
28. Are you basically a happy person?
I am now and I will continue working on it.
29. Are you tired?
I'm getting tired of this survey
30. Did you drink anything with caffeine?
The better question is do I drink anything without.
32. How many phones do you have in your house?
Just my cell.
33. Do you get along with your parents?
Yes now, but I'm also very frustrated by them because I often see where some of the shit that frustrates me about myself comes from.
34. Do you smoke?
SHHHHHH, down to one a day unless I'm out.
35. Do you have a kitty?
Nope, it's like I keep saying cats are perpetual teenagers and dogs are perpetual toddlers...I prefer the toddlers.
36. Have you ever had a birthday party?
Yep and since I have a younger sister, she always got to have a party on my birthday too, including her own presents. Not that I'm bitter or anything.
37. What do you do when you're sad?
Listen to music and cry or just cry. Crying is therapeutic.
38. What do you want most right now?
An ice cream cone.
39. What song are you listening to now?
I'm not, just listening to the chiming of Yahoo Messenger.
40. What are you craving right now?
An ice cream cone.

more than words

This should give you an idea as to what kind of weekend I just had...

return of the swamp thing

I'm back from You-Da-Ho, cause I ain't da ho (and no, I'll NEVER tire of that). Actually, I got back yesterday. But after the excruciating one hour flight that made me more motion sick than any I've been in a long long time, I had to go to work. Today I had a million little errands to run, including picking up my baby from his mini-vacation..so forgive my belated posting. The Vacation - Cliff Notes Version I got there on Thursday afternoon and hung out with Devo and a couple of friends who came down from Seattle for the event. We mostly ate a lot. I don't remember doing much, but I remember there being a lot of fried foods. And American flag speedos. This was actually a great day, I was able to meet a slew of the Boise party peeps and they were all great fun. I also bought some flip-flops, imperative when you walk off the plane into 104 degree weather. Day two began and we drove up to the location (after spending a butt load of money at the co-op) and helped set up some stuff for the party. Lucky for us we had a cabin so we didn't have to set up a camp...but it was still a lot of work and man was it HOT! Then Friday night arrived and we whooped it up, remembering to keep a little bit on reserve for Saturday. During Devo's set, I got really tired and laid down for "just a minute, just to rest my eyes" on the dance floor...an hour or two later my friend Mel found me. According to her, when she walked up to give me a hug I was completely passed out, but my foot was still tapping to the beat. Day three began and I woke up a little earlier than my bedmate. I decided to get my day started since I knew I would just keep him awake with my morning chatter. I headed up to the party location and was picked up by a ragtag group of misfits who were headed to the old swimming hole. I asked them to drop me off so I could rendezvous with my other friends before heading out there. Eventually I made it to the swimming hole, an oasis of cool water and cooler people setting up water badminton. I was there just long enough to keep my internal temperature from cooking my innards since my body had become a slow-roasting crock pot...my god was it ever hot! Then off to the airport to pick up the headlining DJ. Errands, errands, errands and we get back to the party. A little rest and (insert finger snapping noise) time for the party to begin. Party, party, party...more party, party, party...then more party, party, party... It was a great time. There were enough of my favorite Seattle people and enough new people to keep it all flowing nicely. Finally sleep, of course by now it's day four and the sun is high in the sky. By the time we got up after a million interruptions and goodbyes, most of our friends have headed out. They bravely faced the long journeys back home head on. Devo and I however chilled for quite a while and took our time packing up. Then we headed back up to the location where we tried to help break down as much as possible but were fairly useless. We drove back to Boise and hung out a little bit, though honestly the rest of this day was just a blur of exhaustion. Day five began with a big cup of coffee and then driving around looking for breakfast. We ended up eating Thai at noon, talk about indecisive. We didn't have a lot of energy but still had a desire for a little fun, so go-karting it was! That was followed by arcade games, a trip to the airport, a flat tire, and then commando mini-golf...18 holes, 4 people, 30 minutes! A dinner for two and a dipped cone and one last hurrah of being surrounded by people I barely knew but who insisted they liked me anyway because I keep pretty good company I suppose. Then sleep...oh blessed sleep...how I missed that on this vacation. Day six, a coffee drink titled "A Cup of Soul" and so good that it's trademarked. Then to the airport, where this extremely long winded post began. Whew. Just imagine how long this post will be when I get back from Burningman.

potato head

Well, I am off to Idaho in a few hours. Sometimes I am like a litte five year old, I get all excited and then can't sleep. So I'm working about three hours of sleep and working the circles so dark that I look like I got punched in the face a few times look. And just to confirm the fact that I'm no spring chicken, I realized that I'm getting a lot older while packing. Instead of making sure my super cute outfits and hair stuff got priority baggage space, the first thing I packed was my OTC meds just in case. If you hear anything on the news about a party by the river a few hours outside of Boise, make sure you look to see if I'm in the background mugging.

flashback

10 years ago...
Ten years ago, it was 1996. Take this survey, post the results, and see how many things have changed since .

1) How old were you?
THEN: 20
NOW: 30
2) Where did you work?
THEN: Back then I answered to Private (Last Name Here) a lot and worked as a Clinical Lab Tech for the military.
NOW: Clinical Lab Tech for an evil corporation.
3) Where did you live?
THEN: Washington DC
NOW: Seattle, Washington
4) How was your hair style?
THEN: Down to my butt long
NOW: Short and orange (my mother's description)
5) Did you wear contacts?
THEN: Sometimes, when I went to concerts and such
NOW: No
6) Did you wear glasses?
THEN: the BCGs I was SUPPOSED to wear stayed in my closet
NOW: the super expensive trendy homage to Wonder Woman classes I am SUPPOSED to wear stay in my bag
7) Who was your best friend?
THEN: Stephanie
NOW: I know a lot of beautiful people...but my sister will always be my bestest friend
8) Which of your pets were still alive?
THEN: Dino, the worst treated dog and still one of the biggest weights on my conscience.
NOW: Iniki, the best dog EVER
9) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?
THEN: Chad, a 26 year old Capricorn
NOW: Devo, a 26 year old Capricorn
11) Who was your celebrity crush?
THEN: Johnny Depp
NOW: Johnny Depp
12) Who was your regular-person crush?
THEN: Ummm, who can remember...I have a lot of crushes.
NOW: Well, I can't answer that...but I have a top 5 list
13) How many piercings did you have?
THEN: Four or so
NOW: Two
14) How many tattoos did you have?
THEN: 3
NOW: 5
15) What was your favorite band/singer?
THEN: Rage Against the Machine
NOW: Too much good music in my life to choose a favorite, but I really like Modest Mouse
16) Had you smoked a cigarette?
THEN: Yes
NOW: Yes...unfortunately.
17) Had you gotten drunk?
THEN: Quite often, especially considering that I wasn't 21 yet.
NOW: Less often and with less effort. Fucking aging.
18) What kind of Car did you drive?
THEN: Hyundai
NOW: Nissan
19) Looking back, are you where you thought you would be?
I can't remember what expectations I had for myself ten years ago. But I think that my ten-years ago self would be pretty pleased with the life I've made for myself and the wonderful people I've tricked into being a part of it. I know I'm pretty pleased with it.

holy guacamole

Somebody pinch me...or maybe don't. I had the most amazing weekend. It all started off with a mini-show at a random warehouse by the water. Then off to a party with a slew of graduate students doing the most non-academic things. Afterwards a club night my friends have just started. One small pitstop at Frittes, a Belgian fry joint, where I introduced a gaggle of drunken folk to the joys of curry ketchup. Then, we were off to my friends' monthly afterhours affair. It's been going on and going off for a little over a year, I've been to all but one of them. I remember when it was just a few of us, chillin' outside. The house and that party have been good to me. It's where I've met most of the amazing people I know. It's where I met an amazing man, who every day I feel a little luckier to know. And somehow...Garth, who was in town for a gig, heard about the house and came out to play...then hung out with us. And he was completely down-to-earth and chill and lo-key, a perfect compliment to what has been building all this time. It was amazing. I was able to hang out with my friends and sweetie on what may have been the most beautiful day of the year...I watched the sunrise over Lake Washington and the sunset over Puget Sound. Le sigh, when did life start getting so...GOOD?

say what?

Yesterday afternoon I had a flurry of appointments. One of them involved taking care of my lady-bits at the Planned Parenthood. While sitting there waiting, because they are the least on-time facility I have ever been to, I noticed that they had one of those "Soft & mellow hits of yesterday, today, and tomorrow for your day" kind of radio stations playing on the overhead speakers. As I'm sitting there, "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna came on. AND THAT is what I call sublime irony!

mystery solved

FRIDAY, JULY 07, 2006 MYSTERY SOLVED It's not a rapid aging process making me want to sleep an obnoxious number of hours...I'm sick! Here's to summer illnesses...

missing sheep

Aging is generally okay with me. I don't mind the gray hairs, the developing crow's feet, the achey knees, the southward migrating bosom...but this losing sleep thing has got to go. I shouldn't EVER feel the need to be in bed by midnight and up before 8am. The only time I should see the sun rising is when I haven't gone to sleep from the night before. I can't start a routine sleep schedule...it might lead to something horrendous like living a responsible and respectable life...and the only worse fate I can think of involves perm solution and a lot of peroxide. PS-Happy 4th of July!

movie mania

THave you seen Syriana yet? I saw it last night after having avoided watching it for a while. I knew it would be incredibly depressing. But I didn't realize how sad and hopeless it would leave me feeling after the credits finished rolling. It wasn't just a general sense of hopelessness either, there were definitely specific, pointed feelings of hopelessness as well. But it is a great movie and worth the two hours of your time to watch it.

heroin chic

Last night, I came home from work and noticed this sketchy dude hanging out by my building's garbage cans. But hell...it's a big weekend in Seattle, the weather is record-breakingly hot and it was Pride...so a few random people out and about is bound to happen. Then I went into my apartment and went to open my window. I look out and there are two guys shooting up outside of my window...literally SHOOTING UP...IN THE NECKS!!! I would have been even more freaked out were there not a fence with barbed wire separating them and my window. Definitely not the sight I expected and made me decide to keep my window closed for the night and just sweat the night out.

if at first you don't succeed...

Okay, this is the third and final time I am going to try and do this post. Stupid blogger and stupid computer. Lots of randomness... o I'm lonely. Both of the guys in my life are gone. My puppy dog is on vacation at my brother's house, playing with his cousins (human, canine, and feline varieties). It's so sad when I come home and there isn't anybody there to give me an enthusiastic greeting. My other guy is chilling in Idaho, where I'll join him in a few days for an ass kicking outdoor party. o I'm going to Burningman this year for the first time with my friends in a camp called The Rockstar Orphans. For a fundraiser, we did a yard sale this weekend. It was much less annoying than the last one I did before leaving Kentucky. People in Seattle...not too big on the bartering, they would mostly just pay what we asked for. It was kind of nice. And of course, it probably helped that I started drinking beer at about 9:30 am and was fairly tipsy by noon. o It is so freakin' hot here. I realize it isn't nearly as hot here as it is in the rest of the country. But it really irritates me when people use that rationale to explain why nobody as AC here. Just because it's 112 degrees in Georgia, well that doesn't make the 96 degrees any more bearable.