all signs post to yes

Packers Beat Redskins for 3rd Win in Row
If you don't remember, I posted a while back about the importance of a Redskins loss/Greenbay win. Combined with the Indian mystics, I am developing something that feels a bit like hope.

11/3/04-DAMN YOU PACKERS!!! I CURSE YOU AS BABE RUTH CURSED THE RED SOX, I HOPE YOU NEVER SEE ANOTHER PLAYOFF, NEVER SEE YOUR LOGO ON THE SUPERBOWL MARQUEE. DAMN YOU FOR YOUR FALSE HOPE AND RUINING A PERFECTLY GOOD STREAK OF FOOTBALL PRESIDENTIAL PREDICTIONS!!!

cheba hut: where the only thing fried is an occasional customer

As is our usual Friday custom, my friend Katie and I skipped class and went to get lunch. We happened upon a sandwich joint (no pun intended) that had just opened called the Cheba Hut. Our first question was "Do they mean what we think they mean?" So we went inside and yes indeed, it meant EXACTLY what we thought it meant. It was a sandwich shop devoted to Mary Jane, my main thang. Here is a sampling of their menu items:
Hydro-fresh eggplant, parmesan, home-grown marinara, black pepper, provolone cheese
Endo-pastrami, sauerkraut, 1000 island, swiss cheese, and yellow mustard
Pakalolo-smoked ham, hawaiian pineapple, swiss cheese
Afghani (this is what I had)-turkey, jalapenos, and "zippy" pepper jack cheese
Jamaican Red-spicy grilled chicken breast, green bell peppers, jalapenos, black oliver, cheddar cheese

On the bottom of the menu it says "Please, feel free to cross-breed (make up your own). Now the sandwich was okay. It was just your average sandwich place, but what a cool idea. They also had crazy stoner desserts like rice krispie treats and hemp brownies and they weren't cheap with the portions either, the rice krispie treats were the size of a premie baby. They even made a PB&J sandwich. AWESOME!

the great outdoors

Mother Nature is a big ole C-U-Next-Tuesday. Her weather plans are clearly designed to torment me. It rains and rains and the wind blows and blows and leaves fall all over my lawn. Then miraculously, the sun comes out and I think "Now would be a good time to clean up the yard and wash my car." NO SOONER than I get the dog poop off the lawn and the leaves raked and the dust-bunnies growing teeth and spine out of my car, it starts to rain and rain and the wind blows and blows. So my yard and my car look like total crap again. That is it, I'm not doing anymore yard work until all the leaves fall.
I just took Iniki for a walk. I wish I could get as excited about excercise as Iniki. As soon as I pull out his leash he goes ADHD on me. He makes his little monkey noises and runs back and forth between me and the door. Then he jumps at my hand in a vain attempt at lessening the space between the leash and his collar. What is amazing is the fact that he jumps about as high as my belly button and he doesn't stand more than 2 feet off the ground.
While we were walking there were people out doing the suburban yard thing and at one house there was a crew of workers, basically a gringo foreman and his Chicano laborers. Now I don't know much Spanish, but I managed to learn all the important stuff during my brief stint of SoCal residence. The foreman was telling the workers what to do and the workers were talking amongst themselves in Spanish. While I was walking by one called the foreman "Big Mouthed Asshole." The workers all started laughing and the foreman had this confused look on his face and kept asking "What did he say? What did he say?" I laughed the rest of the way home.
Just a quick update: the carnivorous arachnid that attacked my poor defenseless appendage did more damage than I thought. I woke up this morning and my arm was red and hot like two inches away from the bites in all directions. So I popped by the ER and the doctor told me it was infected and gave me antibiotics. He said it probably wasn't a brown recluse bite because it would be a lot worse. Damn spiders...I'm going to burn my copy of "Charlotte's Web."

insert dirty comment here _________

I am not really enjoying my selection of courses this semester. There is one in particular that I really really despise and it met tonight. It is only once a week so we sit there for almost three hours and it is so bad that the undergrads (it is a graduate level course but undergrads can enroll as well) have talked about staging a revolt. Well, I decided that the only way I could keep myself awake and vaguely interested was to devise a devious little plan that I could implement every week. My plan is basically this, every week I will interject some filthy inappropriate language into discussion that could be said in a more academic way. This week was definitely a winner. We were talking about the MTV show "Jackass" and something to do with half-naked go-go dancers. So I said "blah blah blah (academic rhetoric) blah blah blah (homophobia in society) and they probably would think differently about half-naked gay go-go dancers rubbing their balls all over their business suits." That's right...I said BALLS, dirty hairy BALLS instead of a more academic word like testicles. And then the professor reiterated my point later and said balls too. Week one: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!

retro crush

I must have a major assignment due because I am watching television and surfing the internet like crazy and that usually signifies some manner of procrastination. I did however see some interesting stuff on the telly.
1. There was an infomercial for something called the ab-board. Basically it is a contraption wherein you fold your body in two to strengthen your abs. While I was watching the informercial it totally reminded me of this thing my grandmother had in her gym (aka the excercise machine graveyard in her garage) when I was little. My sister and I LOVED this contraption. It looked a lot like an old military cot and the function was the same as the ab-board, you lay down with your feet in these holders and arms over your head while you hold onto this bar on top of the cot (very much in an s&m style I might add) and fold yourself up, then release back into a supine position and repeat. Sofie and I would play with this thing for hours. That and Grandma's electronic belt flab-melter that you see in old television shows and her amazing cellulite reducer which was just a cylindrical thing with beaded rolling pins that you rolled your butt back and forth on. Maybe I can make a revamped version of the rolling pin thing and have Body by Jake market it. I tell ya I'll be rich, rich enough to afford the lipo to make it look like that piece of crap actually works.
2. QVC now sells Dooney & Burke bags. I remember when back in the day all they sold were creepy porcelein dolls (now marketed by Marie Osmond) and bad jewelry. We were forced to watch endless hours of QVC (again at Grandma's house) because my aunt was OBSESSED with QVC. I'm amazed at how high end QVC has gotten, they sell expensive make-up and name-brand clothes and even hawk a line by Joan Rivers (well that could be HSN, I get those confused sometimes). Now don't ask me why I know so much about QVC, I swear I only watch it while flipping through the channels. I would NEVER sit down with a bowl of popcorn and watch the Nascar products midnight marathon...NEVER!
3. Seriously, I don't care what all the Asian-American Awareness Groups tell me about negative media representation...I LOVE THE KARATE KID!!! I always cry at the end when Daniel-son raises up in his crane move (if you are older than 23 you know this move...we've all tried it on our siblings and friends but somehow never accomplished the same ass-kicking) and kicks what's his name in the face. We've all thrown "wax-on wax-off" with full-on bad Asian accents randomly into a conversation and laughed heartily when somebody else did too. I can't lie, I loved part II and part III as well, although nothing holds a candle to part I. I used to have posters from BOP magazine of Ralph Macchio on my wall (which I traded my sister for, I think I gave her Kirk Cameron or somebody equally lame in return...oh the power of being an older sister, it can never be replicated).
4. There is absolutely NOTHING on television. I thought I would stay awake to catch Bill Maher on HBO, but it doesn't come on until midnight and I didn't get my nap so I don't think I can make it.
On a side note, I think I got bit by an evil venomous spider. That man-eating arachnid bit me not once but thrice, all along my forearm. I look like I have infected track-marks.
Also, it has become clear to me (yet again) that when I write, the way I hear it in my head is not the same as how people will later interpret it while reading. I think my regular readers (all three of you) know that most of what I write is in an irreverent, tongue-in-cheek, facetious kind of way. But for those of you who don't know me personally and wouldn't know this, I generally don't say anything just for the sake of being a dick. Unless it is something really personal to me (oh just to throw out an example...something like relationships) I'm not being all that serious. So keep that in mind while you are reading (although I doubt the particular readers I am referring to will be back). Seriously, I'm not going to preface or postface (probably not a real word, but work with me) everything with a notation about what is supposed to be funny and what is not...you can figure it out people, that's why god/allah/yaweh/mystical earth mother gave us the brains and monkeys the tails (just for kicks though, that last part is facetious AND irreverent and I'm pretty sure I'm using both words correctly because I looked them up).

drop it like it's hot

In the past few months I have ended two friendships. Not because of anything heinous on either person's part either, just because it seemed like the thing to do. As I think analogies make the best reference points, I think I can utilize finance/investments in these cases. I really felt that I wasn't getting enough return on my investment in these particular friendships. Not that I was invested a whole lot, but somehow it ended up being too much anyway. For a while I thought I should treat these investments/friendships like I would a mutual fund, even though I had the feeling it was tanking I wanted to stick with it and eventually see an overall growth. But after a while, I decided that the risk wasn't worth it, how many times do you let a person hurt your feelings before it is enough...once, twice, ten times, when you finally can't keep track anymore? After the uncomfortable feelings of wondering if I pulled out too soon subside, it becomes clear that there are other investments out there that might be better, maybe even a personal/solitary savings account.
Part of me wonders if maybe my problem with relationships is that I think about them too rationally. Maybe I should stop comparing them to financial portfolios. Clearly my checks & balances version of relationships isn't working out as well as it should. Are there other ways? Should I stop expecting the whole push & pull, give & take version and just settle for the pull & give? I'm stumped.

blog stats

I put a new blogger stat counter on my page a while ago and the cool thing is that it gives stats on what the referral was that led to my blog. I have learned some INTERESTING things.

1. (EDITED because of minor pangs of guilt and a brief brush with sensitivity) Just brief online stalker drive-bys. <--left that because dammit it was a GOOD LINE, witticisms are hard to come by.
2. Moe's Tex-Mex grill must be becoming REALLY popular. A lot of my web-engine searches are things like John Coctosan and Billy Barou, two of their menu items that I mentioned in a previous post. Well haha suckers, I didn't know who they were either so you search my page in VAIN.
3. I had a search from Frank Langella and the movie "Sweet William." But little did they know that when they showed up to my page I was going to call him a dick and say that he kind of sucks now. How's that for a review???
4. Now THIS is the most disturbing search. Somebody went to Yahoo and typed in "intersexed pics." AND MY SITE SHOWED UP!!! I remember talking about intersexed people once but I didn't remember posting any pictures for God's sake. And seriously what was the motivation for the person looking up intersexed+pics? Was it research for a class presentation? Did somebody find out they were having an intersexed child and want to inform themselves? Or did typing "chicks with dicks" seem a little too obvious? Now mark my word, I'll go to my stats one day and see that somebody ACTUALLY looked up "chicks with dicks" and got directed to my site. TSK TSK.

comfortable in my own skin

I desperately want a new tattoo. My general trend is to get one after a major life change and I don't think life changes more than it has lately (yes I know, I swore an oath to not mention the THING). I don't know what I want however, I just know I want it to be a massive undertaking worthy of what I'm feeling inside. I found this website of a tattoo artist in NYC. I have heard of him and seen him on various television shows and in skin-art magazines. Ahhhh, if only I could afford to jet away to NYC and have a custom made tattoo from somebody this amazing. I find myself in the unique position of feeling pangs of jealousy regarding Christian Slater who got a tattoo (not one I would get but every tattoo is personal) from Anil. I should have my friend Sarah design one, she's does great dark art.

c'mon barbie let's go party

I was sent this link by my super-DJ friend Jen(ny). Barbie just gets cooler and cooler as the years go by. She does it all...Doctor, Businesswoman, Model, Mother, President, Astronaut, Military Servicewoman... and NOW Barbie also does other women. The add-ons are great and I have to say that my personal favorite is Diesel Dyke.

somebody explain this to me

Okay, so last night I contacted Paypal to have my name changed (cause I love me some eBay and want to be able to pay in a timely manner to ensure my positive ratings). I have changed it with my banks and my credit card companies with a simple phone call. But NOOOOOO not Paypal, I have to PROVE my name change to them. I need to send them like three different kinds of information. I could see the necessity of this if I ran an online business and got a lot of Paypal payments, but I just buy crap (and I really do mean crap, nothing of value at all) and pay through Paypal. So why all the hubbub bub? I mean if a phone call can change the name on my financial information like the name I'll sign on checks and credit card purchases, then why make a big deal out of stupid crap like Paypal and T-Mobile (I have to visit an authorized dealer to change my name with them). It just boggles the mind, at least MY mind at any rate.
So, it must be a downer to read about this divorce thing all the time on here. Henceforth, I will no longer talk about it unless it is an amusing antecdote or something. Of course I'm not that great about keeping promises or oaths or anything so we'll see how it goes.

i'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair

So the W left about an hour and a half ago with Ee'Poh (one of the dogs in case you didn't know). It was a sad goodbye, if it were a scene from a movie I could guarantee that 83% of the women and 7% of the men would need a hankie. So after he left I became a cleaning tour-de-force, a Pledge, Clorox, and Dirt Devil whirling dervish. I have cleaned things in the house that haven't been cleaned in months. Now everything is sparkling and shiny on the outside. You gotta love avoidance sometimes, you get a LOT done. Except for schoolwork, for some reason I never find myself compelled to do that. If I had a gym membership, I would go punish my body. Last weekend I watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," which was a great flick and very timely. I wonder if I would be inclined to do such a thing if it were actually available?

strange days

So I woke up this morning and I was one person and then I got home from school and BAM I am another person. Not a total stranger however, just a person I haven't heard from for six years...LisaM. instead of LisaM.L. Crazy how quickly it all happened. Let's see went to a lawyer last Thursday (OCT 7th), went to the Courthouse Tuesday (OCT 12th), showed up today (OCT 15th) and the divorce decree was in the mail. HOLY SHIT! How insane is that??? Give a mofo some time for closure for god's sake. Anyway, the W leaves tomorrow with Ee'Poh. Sad sad.

chaucer is my daddy

My life is a satire. So the W is supposed to be leaving today, they came and picked up his stuff yesterday, we were sad and sniveling and preparing...THEN BAM he falls off this gerry-rigged landing outside of the shed trying to do some last minute "honey-do" bullshit and falls flat on his back. Four hours after that we are calling an ambulance and going to the ER. He sprained/strained some muscles and pinched some of the sciatic nerves. FUN, when I hurt my back years ago keeping a patient from falling, I couldn't even sit on the toilet for two days. At any rate he certainly can't do an 8-hr road trip and won't be leaving until Saturday or Sunday now. Ohhhhh, life and all its complications, if I could right about now, I would give life the finger.

this isn't your mom's ms. magazine

I finally got my first issue of Bust Magazine. It freakin' took forever. I subscribed in like June but then I had to wait for the fall issue to come out and then it took a while to get my magazine. It is a pretty cool magazine, this issue has PJ Harvey on the cover. Bust definitely has a Riotgrrl kind of vibe. Of course bust.com is where I discovered the notorious vegan porno site and lo and behold on page 131...an ad for vegporn.com the "first and only adult site made by fun and frisky vegetarians and vegans!" Apparently they are also introducing "vegsexshop.com with sexy vegan and natural products." Yeah you know what, I haven't visited the site yet but seriously you can't fool me, I can get a cucumber at Kroeger and won't have to pay the shipping fees. Geez man, vegan/natural sex shop stuff...WTF!!!

too much of a coincidence?

So now that we are all on the same page about the quick demise of my wedded un-bliss, I have started thinking about the seemingly large number of relationships that have ended this year. Let's see at work I am one of four couples who are divorced or divorcing. Of my friends, I found out a few days ago that one marriage is in serious peril. My friend broke up with a long-term partner recently. A girl who I was class-friends with was in the midst of a separation the last time I talked to her (I don't know what the status is now, but I doubt they worked it out). Another friend split with her husband earlier in the year. Plus I hear the phrase "That's it, it is OVER" a lot. So what the hell is the deal here? Are the moons and planets lined up just so this year so that relationships are ending at really high rate? Is there so much stress in the world right now that it is impossible to hold a relationship together? Am I the grim-reaper of relationships (I actually like this idea, the idea of this much POWER gives me a metaphorical woody)? It seems strange that this relationship combustion seems to be happening all at once. On a side note, I need to go shopping and buy a divorce outfit. I need something to wear to court. Of course I don't want to go spend a lot of dough because frankly I will probably want to burn the outfit when I'm done with it...I wonder if they have a court-friendly section at Wal-mart or Target?

smartypants

So I was checking out the Intertel and Mensa websites to see what the qualifications are for being a certified super smart genius. I think my dad told me once that I tested out pretty high on an IQ test once, but that could be a figment of my imagination...I am convinced that sometimes I make up my own memories. But at any rate I don't have any documentation of such testing and other than online tests I really have no idea what my IQ is. However, according to the SAT and Army GT score standard, I am SO not Intertel material. My ACTs would make me a Mensa candidate but I took them during the N/A timeframe. But in the long run it doesn't really matter whether or not I am smart enough for these groups because there is a guy at work who is a member a Mensa and he has the social skills of Rainman and frankly he has an uncanny resemblance to Dexter from Dexter's Lab.

downward spiral

So, the official part of the split has begun. Who knew how labor intensive it would be? Certainly not me. So much paperwork, stacks upon stacks of things I have to do within the next seven business days...much of it to be completed by next Tuesday. My checklist is long and ardous and every check makes part of me die just a little bit. Still haven't really officially told anybody other than my parents and a very limited number of people at school. What surprises me is that people are surprised...but then again I was a little surprised myself so I can't hold it against anybody. My mother is going to tell my brother and sister, I guess that makes me a coward for not facing my own firing squad. I still haven't written the email and I don't know when I'll get around to it, I probably should do it because it must be weird for people to read it here. The thing that amazes me about this whole thing is how fast it all is, when there is no property or children involved you can be dissoluted within a month...imagine that, one little month, thirty short days can legally wipe out six years and turn it into some dream I have just awoken from. I believe that I am in a denial stage and I know it, I want to stay here as long as possible because I dread moving into a stage of reality and acceptance and the emotional rape that I will inevitably suffer. I feel like I may be the saddest little girl on the planet.

and so the other shoe goes drop

Well, the day has finally come. I've been anticapating it for the last year or so, but somehow I still managed to be surprised at the thought that I will soon be Lisa M. again instead of the Lisa M.L. I have been for the last six years. The other has gotten a job out of state and rather than go for the Hail Mary, one final last ditch effort at making it work, we decided to just get all Nike about it and just do it. Yes, I am talking about the big D, the D that makes me a 1 out of 2 statistic. The weird thing is that I'm not having much trouble writing this situation onto some vaguely anonymous strip of cyberspace, but I have started and restarted an email to my friends and family and haven't been able to finish it, much less press send. So those of you that read it here and not from me personally, I just couldn't do it in a personal tete-a-tete kind of way. For some reason that hurts a lot more. Besides I don't know how many times I can listen to "Time heals all wounds" "You're better off" "Are you okay? How are you really doing?" "If you need anything, I'm here for you" before I lose my mind. Not that I don't want to hear those things, I think I can't hear those things right now. My wound is fresh, a gaping and glistening scrap of mutilated flesh. I know I'll get over it, I have to...but right now I want to get in bed, pull the covers over my head, squeeze my eyes shut, close my hands tight about my ears, and not emerge again until Spring.

moe knows baseball

We went to this place Moe's. It was okay, it tasted a lot like a million other Southwest fast food restaraunts I've been to like Qdobas, Baja Fresh, Maui Taco, etc etc etc. But the kinda cool thing about Moe's is their menu. The names of all the foods are pop culture movie/television references. So here is the list and the ones I know. If you know any others or if I am wrong, let me know in the comments.

Burritos:
Joey Bag of Donuts-I really have no idea
Triple Lindy-Ahhh Rodney Dangerfield's signature dive in Back to School
Homewrecker-uhhhh, I dunno.
Art Vandalay-George Constanza's alter-ego in Seinfeld
Tacos:
The Full Monty-bunch of unemployed blokes who become strippers for cash and promise to show winky and the twins.
The Other Lewinsky-hmmmm, maybe a reference to Monica. If so then putting it in the tacos section is about as subtle as getting hit by a bus.
The Ugly Naked Guy-According to a reader, this is a Friends reference, apparently a nudist neighbor of Monica and Rachel.
Quesidillas:
Sherman Klump-ahhh Eddie Murphy as a fat but lovable college professor whose family wipes out an all-you-can-eat restaraunt.
John Coctostan-somebody told me this was a Fletch reference, but I haven't seen this movie since I was about 10 years old so I'll have to take their word for it.
I Said Posse-I know this is a punchline for a ton of jokes, but isn't it also a quote from Blazing Saddles?
Nachos:
Ruprict-hahaha, Steve Martin plays Ruprict the monkey boy in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, I love this movie.
Billy Barou-A reader clued me in to this one as well, although I'm a little ashamed that I didn't know it. This is a Caddyshack reference, it is the golf club used by the Judge while putting in the final round.
Salads:
Pinky Tuscadero-this name has something to do the Fonz, although for a while I thought it might have been the girl Danny dates in Grease, but that's Cha-Cha.
Close Talker-another Seinfeld reference, although I can't remember if this is better or worse than the low-talker.
Fajitas:
Alfredo Garcia-nope, I got nothing.
Fat Sam-I know this is Fletch reference, I actually do remember that.
Kid's Menu:
Puff the Magic Dragon-a song, a movie, a reference to marijuana...you can choose, although the funniest bit about this is probably from Meet the Parents
Moo Moo Mr. Cow-yeah...I don't know.
Mini-Me-an Austin Powers reference obviously, although in part three we discover that he is better known as tripod.

super fun facts for absolutely no reason

I took out a bunch of questions though because there were a lot and a lot of them were stupid.

name: lisam
birth date: november 9th
birthplace: pusan (or busan), korea
current location: louisville, kentucky (somewhere between hell and chicago)
eye color: dark brown, not much difference between my iris and pupil
hair color: dark brown, with light brown and blond artfully intermingling (thank you aveda)
height: somewhere between 5'7" and 5'8"
righty or lefty: righty, my left arm is only for decoration and balance since it is completly useless and cannot function properly
zodiac sign: scorpio, a water sign that says i was born to be the bitch i am today
your heritage: korean, irish, cherokee (a sign of my impending alcoholism)
shoes you wore today: sandals and then slip-on sneakers for work
your weakness: i take people for their word, in other words i am a SUCKER
your fears: intimacy, failure, embarassing myself
goal you'd like to achieve: travel in ~10 countries in europe, ~4 in asia
your most overused phrase: fuck
your first waking thoughts: is it noon already?
your best physical feature: cho-cho lips baby
your most missed memory: i don't miss my memories because they're always there
pepsi or coke: coke
mcdonald's or burger king: i'm lovin' it
single or group dates: date??? what is this odd word and what does it mean?
adidas or nike: puma
chocolate or vanilla: chocolate...once you go brown...
smoke: secretly...shhhhhhhhh (we are just talking about cigarettes here right?)
cuss: like a sailor raised in a whorehouse next door to the tourette's institute
take a shower everyday: um, i've been known to miss one every once in a while
do you think you've been in love: what is love really?
want to get married: been there done that, and i'm still trying to figure out what the fucking point of that whole institution is
believe in yourself: of course, i am perfect
get motion sickness: yes i am always on the verge of vomitting in any moving object
think you're attractive: i'm as good as it gets
like thunderstorms: yes, the potential for mayhem is always thrilling
ever...
played a game that required removal of clothing: yes i have played this game on many an occassion
if so, was it mixed company: racially, sexually, sexual identitially, speciesally, gonna need more specifics to answer this question
been trashed or extremely intoxicated: so much so that i really don't even know the answer to this question
been caught "doing something": "doing something?" does that mean fucking? i refuse to answer this question until somebody explains in great detail what "doing something" is the euphamism for, seriously was this written by a 14 year old? even i did better surveys than this at that age.

good times, good times

This is my favorite part of my week. Just got off of my 3rd shift and have taken an Ambien so I am nice and pharmaceutically enhanced. I feel calm and relaxed and everything seems so nice and shiny (even though the reptilian hands are back). I wish I felt like this all the time, I would have a completely different life experience...I would be a completely different person. I might be somebody....HAPPY (an inconceivable thought I know). So this is what I am doing while stoned. I managed to figure out all of the correct movie titles by playing it over and over and over until I got the right answer and then writing them down. But for some reason I can't get in to the high score bracket. I think I need to be quicker on the draw.
Did I mention the hot guy at the art fair? I wish I was some hot-ass chick with oodles of sex-appeal so that I could just totally go up to him and turn him into a love slave. But I can't for many many reasons. I'm too shy (which somehow people read as bitchy and aloof), too "big-boned" (which is hard to meet men in general and artsy men are totally into way waifish androgynous girls, if they even like girls in the first place), too uncool (because I don't care what cool is anymore), too abrasive (like an SOS pad used with Comet cleaner), too mean (cause honesty is mean apparently), too tooo toooo tooooo toooooo...reading this you would think I have low self-esteem and that's not true. I have lots of esteem for myself, I think I'm awesome. Its just that I don't have a lot of esteem in how others are going to judge me. But I like me so I don't change and since I don't change others don't like me. It's a full assault on my and their esteem of me. The battle royale has been waging for many years.

art fair

We went to the 48th Annual St. James Art Fair today (totally skipped classes to go but that's another story). It was pretty cool I guess. There was some good stuff and there was some really bad stuff, the majority of it was overpriced. I saw some great bracelets but they cost way too much. I did notice that there was a serious obsession with the vagina and nekkid women (although I guess that has ALWAYS been the case with art). There were several photographers and sculptors who had pictures of and sculptures of orchids and other assorted flowers displayed in such a way as to appear totally genital. It reminded me of an episode of "Sex in the City" where some artist paints Charlotte's puss-ee. But there was no male genitalia obsessed counterpart of pictures and such, which is sad because I enjoy good phallic art as much as I enjoy artistic crotch shots of women. There was this one guy who had a tent whose art was so incredibly different than everybody elses. He had this demented art of big corpulent pigs and creepy looking children's toys. One picture of a pig had a poem:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I like Peanut Butter
Do you skate?
I liked his stuff the most, and the artist (or whoever was in the tent) was really hot. So he gets points for not quite fitting into the theme of the rest of the fair but for being sexy as hell. I should have gotten a business card.