celebrate

I think I might have the best bizarre holiday on my birthday EVER!

November 9th is CHAOS NEVER DIES DAY! It couldn't be more appropriate if I made it up myself.

first timer

How long have I been in Seattle? Five months now? Not too long a period of time I suppose, so it maybe it's not altogether that strange that up until yesterday I had managed to NOT take any form of public transportation. A friend of mine invited me to a talk by an awesome woman speaking at the University last night. She was a total radical feminist union-organizing Harvard professor. Listening to her made me really miss being in school, really miss my gender studies classes. But to get to see her, we decided it was probably best if I took the bus. Apparently, the homeless and/or some manner of substance of abuse addict community in Seattle love to ride the buses. And they bring their own brand of funky along for the ride. I sat next to some guy, who reeked of stale cigarettes, alcoholism, and a lack of deodorant. He literally made me a gag a few times. But otherwise it wasn't bad.

hoop dreams

Who said hula-hooping isn't a contact sport?



The picture you are looking at above is my hip area viewed from the side (the pink on the left is my shirt, the white on the right is my belt). The big purple area is a bruise that is about the size of a basketball player's hands. And seriously, I got this massive and painful bruise hula-hooping for about an hour. Apparently, using the hula hoop wrapped in constatine wire is a BAD idea.

dead presidents

When I volunteer to work extra, like on holidays and such...it seems like a good idea at the time. But today, on this day of our presidents, after a weekend full of debauchery and good times...I really wish I had the day off.
On a completely unrelated note, this picture hangs on the walls of the hospital I work in. Now, I'm don't claim to be an art expert, so I won't even begin to try to glean the meaning behind this guy. But I will say, the first time I saw it, I stopped dead in my tracks to get a better look. Good show mister artist...good show

friendster

Making new friends is always a strange phenomenon. You meet somebody you feel some kind of bond with, you get to know them and then work on developing that bond, and then before you know it...you're friends, maybe even good friends. That's how it should be at any rate. But being typically stubborn and assbackwards, I go about it the alternative/wrong way. I meet a person, declare my undying fidelity and friendship, then I get to know them after the fact. So it ends up that I'm always surprised by people and I think they are often surprised by me. Like today, I found out a good friend of mine is very good friends with somebody who wrote a book that later became a movie. And had spent time with some semi-famous people, he was a part of a very large party scene. I never would have suspected, I know him as my gym friend who eats healthy and invests in stocks and responsibly rides his bike to work to save the environment one commute at a time. It was just plain funny to hear his stories and think that I knew so little about him, even though I am the holder of his spare keys.

xxxoooxxx

happy valentine's day.*


*And don't forget, I hated this day last year too, so that means I'm not some bitter single-gal. I really just think it's a stupid holiday. And frankly, do we REALLY need another excuse to eat too much candy?

sweet lovers love the spring

I have a habit of getting way too optimistic way too quickly. That being said, I should know better than to start shouting from my rooftop, "SPRING IS HERE!" But it's hard not to think that way when the weather has been absolutely divine for the last week. Blue skies, moderate temperatures, people coming out of hibernation and walking the streets, homeless people hanging out in the parks instead of the shelters. I had a glorious day yesterday enjoying the sunshine and Iniki lucked out because of it. We went for the longest walk, from park to park, I kept running into people I sort of know. Including a group of hula-hoopers, where I tried my hands (hips?) at hooping only to realize I have limited coordination skills. Iniki got tons of attention and I took him off his leash, so he was excited. Then Erin and I went down to Pike's Place and walked around the downtown area, where I somehow managed to get into a walk-by shouting match with a pseudo-vagrant with some sort of political/angry agenda. Just a good, good day...though honestly my knees and hips are killing me today. Seattle is hilly!!! I took some pictures and posted them in my flickr account, so take a look if you need to kill a few minutes.

pack mule

Another reason I haven't been writing. I've been working, A LOT! I've actually been doing the normal forty hour work week that most people suffer through. And I've already worked one 11-hour shift with a 12-hour shift on the horizon. But it's all worth it, especially when you go to work and break the machine with your heavy-handed gerry-rigging. Then call customer service and as soon as you say your name, he says "Oh, Lisa insert-last-name. How ya doin?" I am OFFICIALLY the person who breaks the machine more than anybody else. BOOYAH! AND I have taken over the record, that's right the RECORD, for most urines done in one shift. I am the PEE QUEEN!!! Mmmmmhmmmmm, job satisfaction, it's better than sex.

fluffy marshmallow clouds

I realize that I haven't written anything of note here lately. I've just been filling my page with fluff in order to make it seem like I was making some kind of effort at keeping it updated. I started to wonder why I haven't been writing about things that are going on with me, because honestly I feel like things are moving in a very positive direction for me right now. Then it occured to me that in order to talk about how good things feel now, I would have to admit that things had been going very badly. And that's one thing that I have an incredible amount of difficulty doing, admitting my weaknesses. Somehow, I've convinced myself that I have to maintain this front of strength and power, as if showing anything else will chase people away. So I tried to keep all this pain I had been feeling to myself, only occassionaly sharing it with people and feeling like I was chasing them away in the process. I was exhausted, holding all that in was robbing me of my will to continue this life. Then around Halloween, the tiredness and seriousness with which I was taking my life just combusted and I hit rock bottom. I was totally confused about everything. I had all these expectations of how the relationships in my life should be, I had expectations that each encounter I had with a person should somehow evolve into a deep and lasting connection, I thought that if I was aggressive enough that I could make all these things happen. And it just wasn't working out that way. So I fell, and fell hard. I'd convinced myself that I needed things I didn't. And I've been working quite hard to recover from all of that. Now it feels like that work is starting to pay off, I feel like there's been a definite shift in my life and myself. And I'm realizing that I don't have to take it all so seriously. Certainly not everything is as I wished it were. And I still sometimes feel like I want more than I've got. But I'm learning to let go of my old shit that I've been dragging around and trying to get out of my own way. I'm trying not to analyze each and every encounter to death and then blaming myself when things don't quite turn out the way I had hoped. And I'm accepting my hopefulness rather than wishing my hope would die a fiery death. I'm relearning to laugh and smile, if it's at nothing or at myself. Frankly, it scares the shit out of me to write this, and I'm debating whether or not to hit the publish button, but this is it. It is what it is...I'm warty and scarred and damaged, just like everybody else. It's no secret and I need to stop acting as if it were

doppelganger

Never one to shy away from committing plagiarism, I stole this idea from ultra-glam and lovely Atomic Bombshell. Now the first time I used a picture with a hat and ended up being compared to eighty year old balding men. Then I used another picture and as it turns out...I look like all the ethnic ladies they have on their list and several of them are super-hot Bollywood actresses. Yay! I guess that makes me one hot-toddy in India...maybe I should try outsourcing my dating.
Here's my match-up...

doppleganger

I'm not sure what the overall function of the site is, but the celebrity comparison thing is pretty fun. But don't use a picture with a hat. You end up being compared to like Abe Bagoda. Definitely not a self-esteem booster. Let me know which Hollywood stars you end up being compared to. This is my list...apparently I am similar to a lot of ethnic actresses.