movie mania

THave you seen Syriana yet? I saw it last night after having avoided watching it for a while. I knew it would be incredibly depressing. But I didn't realize how sad and hopeless it would leave me feeling after the credits finished rolling. It wasn't just a general sense of hopelessness either, there were definitely specific, pointed feelings of hopelessness as well. But it is a great movie and worth the two hours of your time to watch it.

heroin chic

Last night, I came home from work and noticed this sketchy dude hanging out by my building's garbage cans. But hell...it's a big weekend in Seattle, the weather is record-breakingly hot and it was Pride...so a few random people out and about is bound to happen. Then I went into my apartment and went to open my window. I look out and there are two guys shooting up outside of my window...literally SHOOTING UP...IN THE NECKS!!! I would have been even more freaked out were there not a fence with barbed wire separating them and my window. Definitely not the sight I expected and made me decide to keep my window closed for the night and just sweat the night out.

if at first you don't succeed...

Okay, this is the third and final time I am going to try and do this post. Stupid blogger and stupid computer. Lots of randomness... o I'm lonely. Both of the guys in my life are gone. My puppy dog is on vacation at my brother's house, playing with his cousins (human, canine, and feline varieties). It's so sad when I come home and there isn't anybody there to give me an enthusiastic greeting. My other guy is chilling in Idaho, where I'll join him in a few days for an ass kicking outdoor party. o I'm going to Burningman this year for the first time with my friends in a camp called The Rockstar Orphans. For a fundraiser, we did a yard sale this weekend. It was much less annoying than the last one I did before leaving Kentucky. People in Seattle...not too big on the bartering, they would mostly just pay what we asked for. It was kind of nice. And of course, it probably helped that I started drinking beer at about 9:30 am and was fairly tipsy by noon. o It is so freakin' hot here. I realize it isn't nearly as hot here as it is in the rest of the country. But it really irritates me when people use that rationale to explain why nobody as AC here. Just because it's 112 degrees in Georgia, well that doesn't make the 96 degrees any more bearable.

summer lovin'

Ahhhhh, summer is finally here. The weather has been fantastic. I've been outdoors a lot and have developed a skin-tint that doesn't glow in the dark or attract moths. People are out and about and having a good time. Hell, I've been out and about having a GREAT time. I went out several times this week and got totally obliterated one night and as per my usual custom, eventually ended up in my underwear passed out on my bathroom floor. Then went out last night and had a GREAT time even though the nagging "you have to work tomorrow" thought kept working it's way into my brain. And it's Pride this weekend so I expect I'll be out a few times for that as well. I swear, sometimes I think that I have a job because I need to escape the fun of my life.

alphabet soup

I don't know why I fill these things out...it's not as though the answers are going to be any different than the last fifty I filled out. But procrastination can be hard.

[A is for age]:
30...three decades of glorious me-dom.
[B is for beer of choice]:
I'm not a fan of the brew...but on the rare occasion that I'll drink that swill it's usually something I took from somebody else so my choice is therefore whatever's free and available...just like how I choose my men.
[C is for career]
C is for consistently grossed out by the nastiness I have to deal with at work. Yesterday I had to chop up bloody, ragged shoulder flesh.
[D is for your dog's name]:
Iniki, the best and cutest dog EVER!
[E is for essential item you use/wear everyday]:
E is for expensive face cream that keeps me looking young and vitalic. At least that's what the multi-million dollar marketing campaign has told me.
[F is for favorite song at the moment)
The Pirate Song by Go Betty Go
[G is for favorite game]:
Freeze-tag
[H is for Hometown]:
Born in Pusan, Korea
[I is for favortie internet site]
backseat bangers
[J is for favorite flavor of juice]:
cran-grape
[K is for kids]:
K is for kleptomaniac too
[L is for last girl you hugged?]:
Christy
[M is for marriage]:
Ahhhh, marriage...they really don't give you a t-shirt despite having been there and done that
[N is for name of your crush]:
I change crushes like I change my underwear
[O is for overnight hospital stays]:
When I was a wee baby and they made my belly-button look like it was mangled by an alligator
[P is for phobias]
Heights
[Q is for quote]:
"The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty." Ursula K. Le Guin
[R is for biggest regrete]
Not learning enough french to understand what regrete means.
[S is for status:]
Happy.
[T is for time you wake up:]
9:00
[U is for underwear:]
U is for a little unclean at the moment, I just got back from the gym.
[V is for vegetable you love:]
Broccoli
[W is for worst habit:]
smoking
[X is for x-rays you've had]
head, leg, back, lungs, toes, fingers, knees, throat, chest, I'm practically radioactive by now.
[Y is for yummy food you make]
I'm a pretty good cook, I make lots of good stuff, I'm really good at pasta dishes.
[Z is for zodiac sign]:
Scorpio, what else is there?

two thumbs up, way up

We went to a movie a the Seattle International Film Festival (the largest in the U.S.) on Wednesday called Americanese. It was AMAZING! It was one of those movies that is incredibly depressing and strangely hopeful at the same time. The cinematography was beautiful and minimalist. It was provocative but not preachy. Le sigh, it was good. It was often billed as a movie about race and racism, but that's just a way of trying to most easily shove it into a cubbyhole. If you were to ask me (which you should, cause I'm great like that) it was a wonderfully done tragic love story about trying to let go and how you are never really ready to deal with ending a relationship that you invested so much of yourself into. The movie is about being lonely and how many people are incapable of dealing with aloneness. And how we're so programmed to feel as though we should be in relationships that we'll often allow ourselves to be in really bad relationships because that's what we're supposed to do. AND it also deals with race and racism and racial identity. AND the lead actor was HOT! Seriously, if I had professors like that in college, I might have actually showed up to class a lot more. Anyhoo, if you get the opportunity, I recommend this movie. Or if you don't...you can always try to see Charlotte Sometimes by the same director.

organ transplant

I could have gone my entire life knowing that liver was gross without ever having to try it. It's just one of those things that you intrisincally know...organ meat, particularly the organ that gets rid of the bodily impurities, is probably disgusting. I accepted that knowledge and the fact that I never had to test it out, just like I never feel the need to find out that it will probably hurt really badly to jump off of a three story building. But last night...some sly person brought it an adobo with huge chunks of liver. I knew something wasn't quite right when I was spooning it onto my plate, what I thought was pork at initial glance just seemed a little off. So I went through and picked out the mostly chickeney looking pieces and then loaded up on pancit. Then I'm eating and it's all very chickeny until I start chewing one piece and immediately I know something is amiss. But I don't want to be rude so I eat it. Then somebody comes in and asks what we're eating and only then do I find out that I just ate liver. RETCH!

lunchables

We went to a greasy-spoon diner on the way back from the mountains the other day. The cook looked like he was emulating Mel from that television show Alice. The food came dripping in grease, everything was fried. They had chocolate bars in the dessert display case. Their menu had typos. In other words, it was AWESOME!

academic elite

Last night I went to a dinner party for graduate students. It was fun, I always enjoy getting drunk with new people. Particularly when you get to be the one to drag the conversation down into the muck with topics like "best stoner movies" and "how to do the boodie-clap." And then call the host by the wrong name. I am a social moron.

snowball effect

I won't deny it, it is inordinately difficult for me to make decisions. I get overwhelmed by choice, you should see how confused I get at a buffet. So, like almost everybody else I know, I end up making the safe choice...otherwise known as the easy choice. However, my roommate situation hasn't produced a safe or easy choice. I've had to take a long, hard and sometimes painful look at myself to determine whether or not I could live with somebody so soon after declaring my independence. The end result is that I've realized that I'm not ready to share my space with somebody else. But the constant vascillating while making that decision had the unintended side effect of making me question all of my decisions. And I'm floundering a little bit right now, trying to figure out which ones are "good" choices. And also playing mind-games with myself deciding where my choices will lead me, or as my friend L. put it, "Killing off the chickens you never counted before they hatched." I hate feeling like this, especially when I realize that no matter what happens things will probably end up okay...so serving scones at my pity-party is just me being overly self-indulgent.

first place

1.Who was your first prom date?
Mike W., my brother called him McFly. He and my other prom date both went to my recruiter. It's a good thing I didn't date more.
2. Who was your first roommate?
My sister was my constant roommate. I've rarely lived by myself.
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time?
Some kind of scotch. It was actually one seriously mortifying incident wherein I cried for my dad a lot.
4. What was your first job?:
Taco Bell, I was the baddest burrito slingin' mofo in Lakewood.
5. What was your first car?
Everybody thinks they can win the "shittiest first car" game, but I constantly beat people out because my first car, I shit you not, was a fucking Yugo....A YUGO!!!
6. When did you go to your first funeral that you can remember?
My aunt's in Korea
7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?
I guess I consider Lakewood my hometown, so 18 even though I only lived there for a like two and a half years.
8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Ms. Gill, she had hair like Crystal Gayle that she wore in a big bun.
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
Ummm, probably to California. I was just a baby.
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
Amy and Jenny
11. Who was your very first Best Friend and are you still friends?
Stephanie R. and unfortunately no...
12. Where was your first sleepover?
At this girl's house in Virginia, we played Barbies...she was a little older than me. Years later she moved to the same place we lived in Germany, she dropped out of high school and had a kid when she was like 15.
13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
I like to keep my internal state in constant disarray so I just seethe mostly.
14. Whose wedding were you in the first time?
I've never been in a wedding.
15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Drink coffee usually
16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
It was at the 9:30 club in DC, Sponge & Stabbing Westward. Somebody bought my ticket because he was trying to hook up with my friend.
17. First tattoo or piercing?
I got a tattoo three days after I turned 18.
18. First celebrity crush?
The guy from Dance Fever.
19. Age of first kiss?
In the sixth grade and it was so gross, I didn't kiss another person until I was 17.
20. First crush?
I'm constantly crushed by love.

breaking the code

Quote (probably not verbatim, but very close): I just think we're in different places in our lives and our expectations for our relationships. End Quote. So...ummmm...what the fuck does that mean?