hanging up on hanging on

I've been feeling a little out of control lately. Emotional control. My buttons are being pushed in big ways and I'm just not handling it very well. And despite my being able to intellectually know where it's coming from and why I'm feeling a little over the top upset about some things, I feel like I get sucked into this vortex of responding intensely to things and being upset far too often. Most of what's going on has a lot to do with the way in which I grew up and was raised. And it drives me to distraction knowing that my shitty childhood, where I had no choice and no voice, has a hold on me as an adult where I do have a voice and some choices. I want some calm, but a true calm, not the calm that follows intense battles.