tease

Oh Mother Nature, why do you mock me? Knowing I work every other weekend, why must you make the weather so glorious on the days I have to spend the day in the third pit of hell? Is it because I used to use toxic weed killer on my sidewalk because I was too lazy to dig them out? Whatever it is, I'm sorry. Please let me have a good weather stretch on my days off. And on a vaguely related note, for some strange reason, the maintenace people changed all the lightbulbs in the factory of bodily fluid doom known as my job recently. It is so freaking BRIGHT down there now. And that would be good if it wasn't that barfugly fluorescent lighting like they use in dressing rooms at Wal-mart, you know...the kind that somehow manages to make you look peaked and at the same time exaggerate the grooves and contours of each and every ass dimple you have. I think they thought it would perk us up, but really all it did was make us feel cagey and paranoid. We're like those creepy lab-testing rodents now, though that actually may have been the point.