clean and clear

For NYE, a friend and I decided that I should do a little cleansing ritual. Without getting into too much detail (mostly because I end up looking like such a fucking girl, and a psycho girl at that), it involved a cell phone and the delete button. It was a strangely difficult task to accomplish, two pushes of a button and I stood there feeling nauseous. But I did it, I cleansed right after midnight. And when I got home and remembered that I had written the number down when I did my phone number backup, I erased it from the list as well. So I should be cleansed right? I should feel as light as air, completely exhilarated. According to some television commercial I saw, getting rid of the phone number on your cell is the FINAL STEP in forgetting and letting go. Except it's actually had the opposite effect in my case. My brain has been CONSUMED lately with the person associated with that damn number (yeah, it wasn't even that person's number I had...sad I know). I don't know why, I really don't. Clearly avoiding #3 and #5 (due to my not avoiding #4 last year) isn't going very well.