eureka

Last night in the midst of my R.E.M. I had an epiphany. I remember waking up thinking..."Oh my god, THAT'S IT!!!" But I can't remember what jumble of hazy, dream induced thoughts brought about the revelation. Maybe it was the meaning of life, the steps to a successful future, the ultimate weapon to smite the people I find annoying like those with an overreaching sense of their own self-importance and superiority (unlike me who has the right amount...just a pinch, not quite half a teaspoon), or maybe it was just a little piece of subconscious-to-conscious girl-talk like, "stop eating raw onions at dinner, your morning-breath is unbearable, thank god you're single." I just don't know. I thought about keeping pad and pen near my bed so I could wake up and scribble down my cerebral noctural emissions, but I'm too lazy for that...I can barely get up the energy to make a grocery list half of the time, yes grocery lists are so suburban housewife but some habits are hard to shake. My life's worth of questions could verily be answered while I'm shrouded in my overly soft mink blanket choking on my own post-nasal drip, but I guess I'll never know.
PS-don't worry, mink is just an adjective...I only commit animal murder for sustenance and shoe-wearing.