oClean house so housesitter doesn't find pizza boxes under the bed, wads of tissue stuffed in the couch, and...ahem...inappropriate videos laying around? CHECK
o Guilt trip father into giving spending cash? CHECK
o Pack totally age inappropriate outfits with lots of pink and Sanrio? CHECK
o Pack make-up worthy of any of the gals from Priscilla Queen of the Desert to include ridiculously and dangerlously long fake eyelashes? CHECK
o Bathe dog so dogsitter doesn't think I'm a terrible doggie-mommy and not give Iniki gobs of love and attention as punishment? CHECK
o Slough and shave off entire winter's worth of nasty dead skin so feet can look passibly sandal worthy? CHECK
o Buy Chaser tablets to ensure there are no over-the-top public displays of drunkeness? CHECK
o Say aloha to blog, see you in a week, provided I don't end up in the slammer or end up a super-sexy-sidekick/slave to a voodoo priest like in the best Bond flick EVER, Live and Let Die? CHECK
o Toodles people...don't miss me too much...no actually miss me a lot, it bolsters my inflated sense of ego.
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